Do You Remember?

The anniversary is a chance to take a step back and have a look at the year that has gone by and do a close-up analysis of your marriage. It gives you the chance to rekindle some of the flame that used to burn brightly. It gives you a chance to say you’re sorry about things that have gone wrong and it gives you a chance to escape the world and concentrate on one another completely for 24 hours. With modern day society being as hectic as it is, it is so easy to get lost in the everyday drama of work, meetings, children, colleagues and more. Far too many couples get “lost” along the way and the anniversary is the perfect opportunity to get things “back on track” at least once a year – Marrilyn (Travelling Bride).

photo: The Padang, S'pore (Nov 09)

Today is the anniversary of “Will you Be My Wife (BMW)?” proposal. My wife and I share the same belief that each and every anniversary deserves to be celebrated in a memorable way. Some friends are amazed that we actually remember our proposal date. A few, particularly the guys, may even ask why fuss over anniversary? Why do we need to remember dates in the first place? Well, a simple reason is when we celebrate our anniversary each year it is an annual renewal of our commitment to one another.

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In his sermon on The Importance of Remembering the Past, Bruce Goettsche notes as a nation, we have tried to keep our history alive through monuments. We have monuments to various wars. We have museums that contain artifacts that tell the story of the past. We place monuments in cemeteries and study family genealogical records, all in an attempt to keep our "history" alive. Similarly, God didn't just tell the Israelites to remember . . . He gave them aids to help them remember. In the biblical history of Israel, God made a habit of building monuments and establishing symbols that would keep his people informed. For example, He gave the rainbow to Noah; the rite of circumcision to Abraham; the sacrificial system & the required feasts, etc. And Jesus instituted Baptism and Holy Communion, commanding “This Do in Remembrance of Me.”

Goettsche went on to offer three reasons why we need to remember: (1) Because we have selective memory, (2) Because it reminds us of our blessings, and (3) Because it spurs us on and keeps us focused. Whilst his sermon focused on what remembering does for our spiritual lives, I feel that the same reasons apply to celebrating one’s proposal, engagement, or wedding anniversary.

Because we have selective memories: For the first point, he uses the following example to illustrate what he meant. When you are in a conflict with another person, what offenses do you remember most clearly? Your offenses, or the other person's? If you are like most people you remember what others did TO you while you spotlight what you did FOR the other person. We conveniently forget the things we did to provoke a conflict.

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Because it Reminds us Of Our Blessings. Isn't it a wonderful thing to page through a scrapbook or look at wedding pictures? Isn't it a precious thing to look through the photo albums and remember the people who have touched our lives and the events that enriched us? It's hard to look at those things and not be grateful for the blessings we've had.

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Because it Spurs Us On and Keeps us Focused. The whole point of remembering is to spur you on. Remembering your wedding vows helps you focus again on your commitment. Remembering how much it hurt to lose someone helps you cherish those you had taken for granted. Remembering how much a visit meant when you experienced loss will spur you on to make that difficult visit to a friend who is grieving. Remembering how scared you were when you were sick will help you to cherish the days you have.

In summary, when we forget the past we lose the anchor that keeps us from drifting. Just as God establish memorials to remind his people, celebrating our anniversary is establishing our own monuments of remembrance. For me and my wife, Nov 28 will be always be a special day! Because it is the day we committed ourselves and our future to each other… it is the day we agreed to be fellow pilgrims on this earth journey. And celebrating the anniversary reminds us of the circumstances, places and divine hand that brought us together.

So what did we do to celebrate our anniversary this year? We decided to break our normal routine and went on a date the whole day. Our date starts at Raffles City where we went shopping for a camera, tv and some gifts for her friends. Then, we had a relaxing lunch at a Japanese restaurant. After that, we took a stroll along memory lane – The Padang, the place where I went down on my knees to propose to her exactly 19 years ago. We went visited some art exhibitions at the City Hall before finding our way to Funan IT Mall where we had popiah and coffee.

At the mall, we bumped into a couple from church, who are also staying in our condominium. We had tea with them for an hour or so before making our way to Bistro 103 at Pasir Panjang for dinner - I found the casual bistro after googling on web as a follow up to my wife’s request to have BBQ ribs for dinner. The meal was nice and service was fast and good. We ended up chatting with the pleasant proprietor who readily gave us a 10% discount on hearing that it was our anniversary.

We didn't reached home till 9.00 pm. It was a long day but we had a wonderful time enjoying each other company. Below are the photos we took today (using the new camera) plus some old photos from the file.

Source: http://www.travellingbride.co.za/artickes-and-news/ ; Rev. Bruce Goettsche, LaHarpe, IL. 61450 www.unionchurch.com

Nowhere's Man

Do you remember Randy Pausch? Yes, the computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon who became very famous because of his witty and inspiring Last Lecture. Although he died in July 2008, his legacy continues to inspire many.

"The best gift an educator can give is to get somebody to become self reflective." "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." - Randy Pausch

During my final lecture for RE4802 Real Estate Development, I entitled the revision lecture "The Last Lecture". I name it such because it was my last lecture for the semester. Also, for some students, it will truly be their last lecture in the university as they are graduating this semester.

I also shared with the students my posting on the Last Lecture (http://happyvalley-prof.blogspot.com/2008/11/last-lecture.html) in the discussion forum. At the end of that posting, if you recall, there was a reflection question: Consider what would be your last lecture. What wisdom would you impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance? If you had to vanish tomorrow, what would you want as your legacy?

Several students, to my surprise, responded and I was truly encouraged by their deep and insightful reflection. One in particular caught my attention and I have obtained permission to share it here:

I agree that education is indeed one of the most life-transforming careers (for ourselves and the people whom we impart to) and yet its value has often been undermined. Of course, not everyone would have the call and passion to teaching as a career, but I believe that in our life, we would have many opportunities to impact and influence the people whom we meet, and that itself is a chance to educate, to deposit something into someone and make a difference, no matter how direct or significant.

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If I were to share something for my last lecture, I would encourage people to have a single passion to live by, not to waste our life. There's this song by John Lennon, 'Nowhere's Man':

He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans

For nobody

Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

We only get one pass at life, and it would be a tragedy to see ourselves wandering aimlessly without knowing the essence or purpose for our lives.

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I hope that we won't be a nowhere's man and will live our lives with passion and purpose, not to have a minimal life but to live it to the full (well.. I can't and wouldn't want to define it here for you, it's for you to discover for yourself how would you not want to waste your life). Have that kind of single-minded commitment to your purpose and be prepared to take paths of risk and sacrifice. Live a life that counts, with passion and purpose!
And with regards to what I would like to be remembered for, I hope that I would have made a difference in as many people's lives as possible. It's about the lives I've touched and how much value I've added to them, through believing in them and giving them opportunities to grow in character and understanding and building them up. I believe that relationships are one of the key reasons why we are on earth. At our deathbed, no one would recall how much profits I've made for my company but it will be the people around who really matter.

So, I hope that my legacy would be one that people can remember me for the difference I've made in their lives. There is nothing more satisfying than that to me :)

Believe the Best

Each of us is given seeds. Each of us bear fruit – a yield – very often in direct relationship to our ability to till, to plant, to nurture, and to reap.

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This semester, which has just ended, has been a busy one for me. In the last segment of my last lecture, I shared with my students a few photos on maple trees I took in State College.

Matured maple trees are like the giants of the industry whom they encountered in the course of taking my module: CEO Keppel Land, CEO Singland, CEO Orchard Turn, GM Keppel Bay, MD Citibank, MD Knight Frank, Senior Exec Director Chesterton & VP Mapletree. Their achievements are the aspirations of many students.

But guess where do all these giant trees started?

Yes, giant maple trees all started from small maple saplings. And where do saplings come from?

Tiny Seeds!






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I went on to encourage my students not to underestimate the days of small beginnings. Just as every seed has great potential to grow and bear fruit, they have great potential in them. I shared my conviction:

"the best buildings are yet to be developed! The most innovative real estate deals have not yet been executed."

Why? Because the people behind those buildings and deals are still in my classroom today. I sincerely believe that this will come true one day. What I am doing is developing my students' expectation level by believing the best in them. As John Maxwell wrote, "when you look up to people, they begin to look up to their dreams". And if we have high expectation level and believe in people, we will encourage them. This is the principle of seeing people not as they are but as they can be.

Many people, according to John Maxwell, unfortunately have a low personal expectation level. Leaders and educators need to know how to develop a dream for others and share it with them.... If we can have four eyes, two for seeing what is and two for seeing what might be, we can help others dream. Everyone needs to be exposed to a vision. Unfortunately, not everyone will go for it. Pursue it with those who are ready to stretch.

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Below are some photos my students took over the course of this semester. On the last day of lecture, they collectively decided to come to school wearing the uniform of their junior colleges/secondary schools:

source: John Maxwell, Be a People Person

Dry Curry Chicken

Some funny quotes on food:

"Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies with its back to heaven is edible." - a cantonese saying; "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it' - Buddy Hackett; "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian" - anon; "I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli." - George Bush (1990).

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Yesterday, whilst accompanying my wife to a supermarket in Bukit Panjang, I was attracted to a bunch of lemon grass. I asked myself, what could we do with this? Instantly, "curry chicken" came to my mind. Instead of the traditional version, I thought it would be nice to cook the "dry version", which has a thicker gravy. So, I consulted my wife if she is game for curry tonight?

Refer to earlier posting for recipe on traditional curry chicken: (http://happyvalley-prof.blogspot.com/2007/08/weather.html )

We decided to cook a big pot so that we could share it with some church friends whom we are meeting this evening. So, the frenzy shopping starts: from the lemon grass, which sparked to curry inspiration, we bought fresh tumeric (yellow ginger), galangal (blue ginger), dried chilies from the same supermarket. For the chicken, we decided to drive to our favorite poutry stall in Bukit Batok, but alas when we reached there, it is already closed for the day. No choice, we went to the nearby NTUC supermarket to buy a pack of frozen chicken tighs (12 pieces). We visited another provision shop to pick up onions and potatoes. At another shop, I bought some buah keras and yet at another vegetable stall, we bought some fresh chilies.

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We went home happily thinking that we had all the ingredients for the curry (purchased from 5 different shops!). In the evening, I started preparing the cleaning & marinating the chicken, cutting the ingredients and pounding the ingredients. It would have been easier to use the blender, but I did it manually as I thought it would be a good way to relax and take my mind off my research. So, I spent a good time pounding away on the mortar.

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However, just when we were about to cook the curry, I realized that we ran out of the most important ingredient: aiyah, no more curry powder! So, another mad dash to a nearby supermarket to replenish.

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Below is a slide show of the preparation and cooking process:

BEMS Class 1988 Reunion

Last Saturday (November 7, 2009), the Department of Real Estate and Department of Building at the National University of Singapore celeberated their 40th anniversary together. In total, there were more than 120 tables.

BEMS Class of 1988 had three tables. Below is a group photo we took at the dinner. Time flies, it has been 21 years since we graduated. Plus four years as undergraduates together, most of us would have known each other for at least 25 years!

seated (from left): Cara Kwok Sook Han, ......., Wendy Chan, Lorraine Phoon, Leng Chiak Sun & Celeste, Michelle Lee, Julianne Lee (Mong Ling).
standing (from left): Ng Kwee Ming, Ashley Wee, David Tham, Joseph Ooi, Quek Sze Kheng, Winston Cheah, Andrew Tan Tiah Yeow, Kam Teck Kwong, Donald Han, Herald Bangras, Tan Choi Heng, Ng Seng Tat (Jackson), Sally Mok, Judy & David Lim (Chee Seng), Joyce Koh (Peck Duan), Chua Ming Lee, Lee Mei Ling.

Attended but not in photo: Yip Kean Mun, Ching Aik Chuan, Wong Teng Teng.