The Art of Persuasion

To persuade (not manipulate; nor intimidate) means to use sweetness to get people to do things. Effective persuasion is a result of relating, not ruling. It speaks to the heart as well as to the head. - John Maxwell

photos: Switzerland (1993)

1) Know precisely what you’re trying to accomplish
Before you can persuade others on any issue, you need to know just exactly what it is you want to accomplish.

2) Place yourself in the other person’s shoes
We persuade, not from our own perspective, but from getting the perspective of others. What do they know? What do they feel? What do they want?
People have certain needs and expectations. If they can see that what you want can also give them what they want, they will be much more open and receptive.

When you want to convert someone to your view, you go over to where he is standing, take him by the hand (mentally speaking), and guide him. You don’t stand across the room and shout at him; you don’t call him a dummy; you don’t order him to come over to where you are. You start where he is and work from that position.

3) Expose the problems immediately
Lay all his cards on the table at the beginning… Always deal with the problem issues up front! This establishes a base of trust, which is necessary for any relationship.

4) Appeal to the higher vision
Most people are inherently decent and fair and they want to “do the right thing.” It is your job, as the persuader, to make them understand the human values represented by your position. They must be made to feel empathy for what you are trying to do so that emotionally they want to give you the response you seek.

5) Know when to stop
There is great dignity in simplicity. Simplicity is eloquent; it speaks loud and clear without insulting the intelligence of the listener.

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6) Cover your topic with enthusiasm
Be enthusiastic! A speech without enthusiasm is like a landscaped painted entirely in shades of gray – there is form but no color. Enthusiasm alone will many times give you the edge you need.

source: John Maxwell, Be a People Person