Hanoi, Vietnam

"The Vietnamese nation was born among the lagoons and marshes of Red River Delta around 4000 years ago, and most of its independent existence has been ruled from Hanoi, Vietnam's comparatively small, elegant capital lying in the heart of the northern delta." -Lonely Planet

photo: Hoan Kiem Lake, Hanoi (Mar 2010)

My wife and I visited Hanoi last week. The air tickets came courtesy of the airmiles redeemed from SIA. Although Halong Bay was highly recommended as a-must-see sight off Hanoi, we decided we wanted to have a relaxing itinerary; literally doing nothing, except to "jalan-jalan and makan" (malay word for "walking and eating").

We stayed in the bustling Old Quarter, the city's commercial heart. As noted in a guide book, Hanoi is bursting at the seams. Almost everyone else zips on motorbikes. From a conversation with a local, I understand that the ratio of the no. of motorbikes to the no. of adults in Hanoi is 1.3!

.

Walking on the narrow street in the Old Quarter is a challenge for visitors from places with orderly traffic system, such as Singapore. Everything spillovers onto the road, as the pavements are often occupied with motorbikes. Pedestrians are, thus, forced to walk on the narrow & tumultous streets, competing with the motor vehicles, each honking their own way thru' without any regard for traffic rules. The air is distinctively polluted with traffic fumes and dust, evident by some locals wearing masks.

photo: our favorite pho in Hanoi

Our main agenda in Hanoi, as stated earlier, was walking and eating. However, since walking on the Hanoi streets is not pleasant, the highlight of our trip was reduced to eating! But, afraid that our stomach may not be strong enough, we were careful not patronize any of the stove-and-stools food stalls or street kitchens scattered throughout the city.

.

During the day, we went hunting for "famous" local eateries and sampling their specialties, such as the ubiquitous pho (beef) noodle soup; and bun cha (char-grilled pork served on cold rice noodles with minty salad greens). Other Vietnamese specialities we tried include: banh cuon, a snack consisting of almost transparent rice-flour pancakes stuffed with minced pork and black mushrooms (very similar to "chee cheong fun" commonly eaten in Chinese dim sum) ; cha ca, fried fish with a lot of fresh dill and eaten with cold rice noodles. For those who may be turned off by the unpleasant surroundings of the local food joints, Quan An Ngon would be a good option to sample upmarket street food. It is essentially an an open-air food court, frequented by both locals and tourists, with a more pleasant environment.

For dinner, we opted for a more western setting of spanish and italian food. We ate at the restaurants around St Joseph's Cathedral, which is a stone throw from our hotel, Golden Lake Hotel. The tapas, pizza and wine were ok but relatively expensive as compared to the dirt cheap prices we paid for lunch at the local eateries. On Sunday, Mai & her family treated us to an international buffet at an upscale restaurant. Located in a wealthy suburb in the south, it is close to a big mall in Hanoi. Effectively, there are two sides of the world in Hanoi - one for the ordinary folks, where you pay in Vietnamese Dong, and the other for the wealthy locals and international tourists

Below are some photos we took on the trip;

“The real test of friendship is:
Can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy together those moments of life that are utterly simple? They are the moments people look back on at the end of life and number as their most sacred experiences.”

- Eugene Kennedy

Bad Apologies!

I'd "rather die" than say sorry - Zinedine Zidane (Mar 2010)

...

"Never apologise and never explain... it's a sign of weakness." - 1949 film, She Wore A Yellow Ribbon

...

.

Footballers, whether they like it or not, are role models by virtue of their high profile. Over the past few weeks, two incidents involving famous footballers (both were captains of their respective national teams) have hogged the headlines.

The first incident involved France legend Zinedine Zidane, who headbutted Marco Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup final - an action which saw the France captain duly dismissed. That was to be the last game of his distinguished career. Italy went on to win the World Cup in a penalty shoot-out. In a recent interview (March 1, 2010), while Zidane admits he regrets what he did, he insists he will never apologise to Materazzi because of the insults against his mother that he claims provoked the headbutt.

.

The second incident involved Manchester City's footballer Wayne Bridge's refusal to shake hand with John Terry (Chelsea's captain), who had had an affair with Bridge's ex-girlfriend. Both were once best friends and teammates at Chelsea FC and England. As a result of the scandal, John Terry was removed as the team captain of England. Wayne Bridge, on his part, made himself unavailable for the World Cup citing John Terry’s failure to apologise as the main reason. When John Terry showed no signs of remorse in the statement he issued the day he was stripped of the England captaincy — and in his conduct towards Bridge himself — the Manchester City full back realised living in such close quarters to his one-time friend and colleague for the duration of a tournament was going to be impossible.

...

Hard to Say Sorry: Most people find it difficult to say sorry. As Gary Hayden wrote in his recent featured article in the Straits Times on Feb 25, 2010, "some people never accept blame and never apologise." In his article, Hayden highlighted some examples of bad apologies as well as how to say sorry.

.

Bad apologies are annonying and more likely to incense someone than it will placate him. Three examples of bad apologies highlighted by Hayden are:

.

(1) Insincere apologies - whenever a politician is caught with his hands in the till or a sportsman with his pants down, an apology will almost certainly ensue. However, we are left wondering whether the person concerned is sorry for what he did - or merely sorry he got caught. More often than not, we suspect the later.

.

(2) Half-baked apologies - these are often phrased using the passive voice. So instead of admitting "I made a mistake", we say "Mistakes were made". Instead of saying "I am sorry I wrecked your car," we say "I am sorry your car was wrecked". At the heart of these ineffectual apologies is an unwillingness to be fully responsible for what has happened.

.

(3) Back-handed apologies - worse, these are really non-apologies. Instead of saying "I am sorry I offended you, ", we say "I am sorry you took offense". The implication here is that you ought not really to have taken offence and Ihave not really done anything wrong but I had better apologise anyway or else I may never hear the last of it. Other examples of backhanded apologies, which subtly shift responsibility onto the victim, include "I am sorry if anyone misunderstood me" and "I am sorry you feel that way".

.

An incomplete apology is often, quite rightly, seen as a second insult. In the next blog, I will continue with the tips offered by Hayden on "how to say sorry".

source: Gary Hayden, "Hard to Say Sorry", The Strait Times (Feb 25, 2010); http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-1253880/John-Terry-didnt-say-sorry-The-reason-Wayne-Bridge-quit-England.html#ixzz0hM05le1v