Hidden Courage

“There is a seed of courage hidden, waiting for some final and desperate danger to make it grow.” - Book 1, Chapter 8. LOTR

Have you ever wondered why our favorite stories tend to include an ordinary person overcoming great odds to accomplish something extraordinary? It is because the capacity and desire to be heroics reside deep within each of us. Whilst we may avoid risk, and death and passion through our culture of affluent, the seed of courage remains within. We are reminded of its presence when we watch a nice guy named Rocky Balboa beats the arrogant champ, Apollo Creed. Our hearts thrill when a young inexperience Luke Skywalker destroys the plans of the mighty Darth Vader. From a simpleton named Forest Gump to a braveheart name William Wallace, we love to see the unlikely underdog beat the odds, hoping our own heroics nature would emerge if facing a similar challenge.

Frodo felt himself overtaken with great fear… Hope seems gone, but rather than despair, Frodo found a seed of courage rising within… Bravery grows when facing desperate dangers enabling even simple hobbits to emerge victorious from great hazards… Drawing upon a bravery he didn’t know he had, Frodo remained to face whatever would come in order to free his company (friends)… Often, over the course of his adventure, he would be confronted with the choice between self-preservation and self-sacrifice, and as in this instance, pushing through great fear, Frodo repeatedly chose risk over retreat in order to accomplish the heroic quest he had been called.

Of all the peoples of middle earth, none enjoyed comfort life more than the hobbits. They slept longer, ate more frequently and partied more merrily than others. A race better suited to friendly chats than deadly perils. A big part of why Frodo’s courage is so inspiring is the contrast to its culture. His upbringing nurtured the pursuit of happy ease not glorious adventure… But the quest of the ring showed everyone that even the smallest least likely person was made for more than comfort and safety. We were made to be heroic.

No matter how hidden it is, each of us have been given a seed courage to overcome fear and apathy in order to play a heroic part in the scenes of life.

The most renown true story reflecting this reality is that of a boy named David. A young shepherd with no military experience, David volunteered to confront Golliath, the might giant of Gad. All of Saul’s men, including David’s older brothers, had refused the call to fight Golliath. But David knew that his life was more than about his personal safety and that sometimes, the smallest and least likely are called to do more than any expect they can do. And so he raised his hand when others wouldn’t, gathered five smooth stones and confronted the enemy of good and the rest, as they say, is history.

Spiritual: Living by faith includes the call to something greater than cowardly self-preservation. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7). It is the invitation to water the seed of courage found deep within your heart. It inspires the passionless (dulled by comfort and ease) to resist the urge to place the personal safety and preservation above the call to adventure and instead to be come a hero.

Reflection: We were made to be heroic.

source: Finding God in LOTR

Wrong Way Riegels

During my sabbatical in the US, I learnt to appreciate the game and rules of American football. The fact that university teams could have stadiums bigger than some of the biggest soccer teams in England still amazes me. At the end of the season, the more successful college teams earn the right to play in bowl games. And one of the most colorful bowl games is the Rose Bowl Game, which is played on 1 January of each year, between the Big Ten and the Pacific-10 conference representatives.

The Rose Bowl Game is accompanied by the Rose Parade, which featured magnificent floral floats. We attended the parade at Pasadena, LA in 2005.

The Rose Bowl Game also contributed one of the most memorable moments in the college football history. Roy Riegels played for a team in the Rose Bowl years ago (1929) that had the ball in its possession right at the goal line about to score. Riegels got hit and got turned around. He didn't realize what had happened, but he started running in the wrong direction. He ran 99 yards in the wrong direction. He was tackled on his own one-yard line by his own teammates to keep him from scoring two points for the other team.

Riegels said that when he was tackled by his own teamates, he got up angry and began to chew his teamate out: "Why in the world did you tackle me?" Then he realized what had happened. He realized he almost scored for the other team. He may have cost his team a score because they were about to score at the other end of the field. He said that he was so embarassed, so humiliated, so disgraced... After a while halftime came. The players came in and gathered in small groups all over the dressing room just whispering. He said he just knew everyone was talking about him. He said that he was so discouraged and so much in despair that at that moment, he thought he would never leave the dressing room alive. He didn't want to live another day.

Then the coach came in and gathered the players around him. Roy said the coach looked right at him and pointed his finger at him and said, "Roy, when you go in this half ..." Roy was crying. "Coach, I can't go in. I may have cost us the ball game. I have embarassed the team. I have done a stupid thing. I can't go in."... He said the coach... came over to him. He put his arm around his shoulder and said, "Roy, remember the game is only half over".

Good thing is, Riegels came back to be team captain the next year, led a successful life after college and is now in the Rose Bowl Hall of Fame. The play is also credited with bringing increased popularity to college football. Roy said that the hand over his shoulder at that most desperate moment in his life literally save his life. Roy went one to become an outstanding high school football coast in the western US, but it was because in the darkest moment of failure, there was one who cared enough to put his arm around him and say, "Roy, remember the game is only half over."

Son of Encouragement:

"You may have stumbled. You may have fallen. The game is not over yet. God's grace is big enough to lift you up".

source: J.T. Draper

Barnabas: The Encourager

"Joseph, who was also named by the apostles Barnabas, which is translated Son of Encouragement" - Acts 4:36

Today, my bible study focused on a remarkable character named Joseph. There are a few biblical characters who goes by name of Joseph. This one is nicknamed Barnabas, meaning the Son of Encouragement. (Note: Nickname is a special name given to some who that represented the kind of person they were).
Living up to his nickname, Barnabas was the kind of man who encouraged other people everywhere he went. He brought out the best in other people. He lifted their spirits. He quieted their hearts. He brought joy and comfort to them. He was an individual who constantly encouraged other people.

Barnabas was the kind of person who always sought out the one who was faltering, the one who failed, the one who had stumbled. He helped them back on their feet and helped them realize that failure is not final, that we don't have to live life on the basis of our mistakes.

As a church leader, Barnabas demonstrated that the gospel is the gospel of begining again. The gospel is the gospel of going on from where we are. The gospel is the gospel of transforming the mistakes and the tragedies of our past into the glories of God's grace in our lives. He encouraged the new believers to go on in their faith, to continue to follow Christ.

• That's the kind of person Barnabas was. It was Barnabas who first brought Saul of Tarsus into the Christian church, and Saul became Paul, the great missionary leader. It was also Barnabas who first encouraged the inclusion of Gentiles (non-Jews) in the church. And when Paul refused to forgive John Mark (who failed them in an earlier mission), Barnabas believed John Mark deserved a second chance.

The world desperately need people like Barnabas. Encouragers who will reach out to those who have stumbled and fallen, those who are discouraged and oppressed, and will lift their hearts and draw them back to the Savior. We need redemptive, restoring individuals who will make it their task to be sons of encouragement; to be encouragers.

Let's follow the example of Barnabas and encourage those around us! In particular, we need to encourage those who are hurting, and those who are lonely and doubting. Everyone needs encouragement at one time or another.

Think about the people who really matter in your life. Odds are that many of them are encouragers....

source: J.T. Draper (2004) Preaching with passion

Recipe: Pineapple Tarts

In a few days time, the Chinese around the world will be celebrating the Lunar New Year. I also understand that the Koreans and Vietnamese also celebrate the lunar new year.

In Singapore, one of the most popular festive cookies is pineapple tarts. They are small, bite-size pastries filled with or topped with pineapple jam. You can find many versions of this cookie in the shop. Most people would resort to buying the tarts since it is quite tedious to bake them on your own. Nevertheless, my wife has been baking her own tarts each year. After so many years and tasting so many versions, her's is still my favorite. Why? Because it is made by her, and I have a hand in peeling the pineapple; the jam are freshly made, they are not so sweet and no preservatives!

Below is the recipe, which she learnt after attending a free cooking class when we bought our first microwave - way back in 1992!

In Hokkien, "pineapple" translates to "Ong Lai", which means "wealth comes".
(1) Fillings: 1 huge pineapple + 220 g sugar. Peel and chop pineapple into small bits, pour into a corningware (strain off juice). Mix in sugar and stir well. Microwave pineapple mixture for 8 mins on high, followed by 10 mins on medium high. Stir in betwen cooking time, uncovered.
(note: the fillings can be prepared in advance and left chilled in the fridge. I find that they taste better if allowed to mature for a few days).

(2) Pastry: Mix 300g plain flour, 1 teasp baking powder, 3 teasp milk powder, 1 teasp cream of tartar in a mix bowl. Rub butter lightly into flour with finger tips, till mixture resembles bread crumbs.

(3) Mixture: Mix 2 egg, 1 teasp vanilla essence, a dash of salt, 250g chilled butter, 4-6 drops of yellow food colouring in a bowl. Beat the ingredients lightly.

(4) Dough: Pour half of the mixture into the flour mixture and mix with both hands to form a pastry dough. Flatten the dough and cut into oval shape.

(5) Tart: Place a spoon of pineapple jam on the oval shaped pastry and fold the edges together. Insert a clove to resemble a pineapple stalk. Using a small pair of scissors, snip tiny "V" sing on the front half of the tart. Snip in rows.

(6) Bake: Place tarts on greased trays, leaving space for expansion. Brush the top with the balance mixture from step (3). Bake in a preheated oven at 180*C for 15 mins.

Take Time

Take time to think;
it is the source of power.
Take time to read;
it is the foundation of wisdom.

Take time to dream;
it is what the future is made of.
Take time to pray;
it is the greatest power on earth.

Take time to be aware;
it is the opportunity to help ohters.
Take time to love and be loved;
it is God's greatest gift.

Take time to laugh;
it is music to the soul.
Take time to be friendly;
it is the road to happiness.

Take time to play;
it is the secret of staying young.
Take time to be quiet;
it is an opportunity to seek God.

Seoul Food

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

J.R.R. Tolkien, author of 'Lord of the Rings' (1892-1973)

We recently visited Seoul and San Francisco. For this trip, we focused mainly on meeting people, taking "free and easy" strolls and "makan" ("eating" in malay). Actually, we note a huge contrast in the eating culture in these two cities!

Whilst the food in San Francisco was good, both my wife and I enjoyed our "eating experience" in Seoul much better. Also, in Seoul, our meals cost less than S$30 for two (often, much lower than that if we eat street food, which I really enjoyed). But in San Francisco, we spent nearly US$150 for a meal for two in a posh local restaurant, which specializes in California seafood cuisine. Whist tips are discouraged in Seoul (yet we get very good service), tips of 15-20% are expected in the US.

“For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave me drink..." Matthew 25:35.

Collecting Souvenirs (from our travel):

photo: Minneapolis, US (2005)

In the past, we collected silver tea spoon from each city we visited. We even had a special cabinet built when we moved to our current house to display the spoons. But we have since stopped buying spoons on our travel as we have ran out of display place.

Nowadays, we will just go to the local bookshop to buy a cookbook (in english) on the local dishes. For this trip, we managed to buy an interesting book on Practical Korean Cooking. It costs us only S$25 for a hard bound copy. I just checked that Amazon is selling it at close to US$ 50!

Below is a slide show of the delightful feast one can get in Korea.

Remember:
"It is the food which you furnish to your mind that determines the whole character of your life" - Emmet Fox

Grow Your Ego

Very often, what makes us act foolishly is our ego. When our egos get inflated, we buy our own press and disregard the facts, or get enamored with our own ideas and stop listening to others. Ego, in the form of vanity, can make us trust a clever sales pitch more than our own reason.

In the tale of The Emperor's New Clothes, the Emperor is vanity personified. He was so exceedingly fond of beautiful new clothes that he spent all his money on being properly dressed, a clear sign of an ego out of control. What are your vanities? What makes you feel attractive, smart or important? It is being on the “A” team, being consulted by someone important, making a lot of money, looking young?

A huge gap exists between a "big" ego and a "strong" ego!

Without much concrete substance, the grandiosity or bravado inherent in big egos might be compared to a balloon--filled to capacity (and with hot air, at that!) and ready to burst (i.e., suddenly and completely deflate) at the slightest prick - Seltzer

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Those with big egos lack inner stability and are more easily upset; tend to be rigid, reactive, dogmatic, and egocentric; simulate self-confidence (rather than truly possess it); display arrogance and a narcissistic sense of entitlement; show deficits in personal integrity; and, perhaps more telling than anything else, demonstrate--when feeling threatened--a surprising weakness, even fragility. Additionally, people with big egos are governed by their neediness.

On the contrary, people with strong egos don't always have to be right, and can readily admit when they're wrong. Great leaders know how to keep their egos in check and avoid such silliness. They have a few trusted advisers, encourage dissent, and listen. Each of us needs a few people who will level with us, whether they are friends, family, or colleagues, or a coach. We do not always need to take their advice, but we do need to pay attention.

photo: "Big Head", Paris (2000)

People with strong egos can be viewed generally as self-confident; secure and emotionally stable; flexible, adaptive, and able to cope well with everyday stresses and frustrations; mature, independent, and resourceful; and authentic.

• People with strong egos genuinely believe in themselves. Therefore they don't require anything like the acknowledgment or recognition that those with big egos must depend upon.
• Far more likely to be givers than takers, and to support others rather than demand support from them, they reveal an openness and trust barely perceptible in those with big egos.
• People with strong egos demonstrate not only the flexibility to appreciate and validate viewpoints other than their own, but to accommodate and integrate them as well. They're able to do so because others' viewpoints aren't personally threatening to them.
• And beyond not feeling invalidated by people who don't share their ideas, they may even solicit divergent points of view in order to become better informed about something.
• Secure in the legitimacy of their own thoughts and feelings, they're not driven from deep within to avoid, resist or deny another's.

It's as though people with strong egos live their lives in expansive mode, whereas people with big egos--feeling so obliged to erect protective safeguards for themselves--are doomed to go through life controlled by all sorts of self-imposed constrictions and constraints. In the end, a strong ego is indistinguishable from a healthy one.

Follow-up Action: Learning how to feel good about ourselves as we are, and beginning to better appreciate our strengths (as well as make peace with our weaknesses), is the ideal way of "growing" our ego to precisely the right size and strength.

Source: http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200809/our-egos-do-they-need-strengthening-or-shrinking

Control Your Own Agenda

The Emperor’s New Clothes story helps us to chuckle at life’s difficult moments and our own silliness. In the tale, the characters cannot see the new clothes, but because they fear rejection, they disregard their own experience and say the expected.

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H.C. Andersen’s intent with this fairy tale is not to judge us, but to ask us to be authentic. He does not denigrate us, but he does ask us to be aware. We do many things to fit in, from showing good manners to meeting deadlines, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem occurs when, in order to fit in, we disregard the facts and act contrary to our own values. Then, seeking to fit in becomes foolish.

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Why do we do it? Often, it is a matter of fear, of playing it safe. We want to look smart, avoid “career-limiting moves” and keep our jobs.

According to Noorgard, fear is often caused by financial vulnerabilities... we comply because we like our standard of living. We worry that if we speak our mind, our career will screech to a halt and our lifestyle will be downsized. Many of us feel trapped by mortgage, car, tuition, and credit card payments. We give up our freedom to pay for our way of life. When we face our fears and deal with them, we are able to resist “peer pressure” and also be practical.

Whose Agenda are you own?

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Ultimately, one of the main lessons of this tale is that we must look at whether we are in control of our own agenda. When we are anxious to fit in, we live our lives on other people’s agenda. When our self-esteem depends on the approval of others and on the perks or promotions they can give or withhold, they are in control. We accept the opinions of dominant players and deny our own – we adopt their agenda. This may have advantages in the short term but is very risky in the long term. When we become too practical and calculating about our careers, we tightly manage them to fit other people’s expectations. We listen to what our boss, human resources, and other key players have to say. We give up our desires, adapt to their rules, and adopt their scoreboard. Then later, if our jobs become downsized, outsourced, or offshored, we feel betrayed.

We go along because our boss and others higher in the hierarchy act as if they control our careers, and we buy into that view. We believe that as long as we play by their rules, we will be rewarded; that as long as we hit the numbers on their scoreboard we will succeed. Then, when they cannot deliver, we feel cheated.

We need to realize that their power is limited and trust our own. In the global economy, corporations will continue to change. We need to realize that,

'We are free agents, and our only security is our talent and track record."

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In the Ugly Duckling goes to Work, the author exhorts:

"we can do better than that by reclaiming our own agenda, by choosing the work we feel passionately about, the work we can do better than anyone else. As a result, instead of feeling entitled, we become responsible. Most important, we become world-class at what we do and we enjoy the process."

Source: Mette Norgaard "The Ugly Ducking Goes to Work"

The Emperor's New Clothes

“Often the most practical thing we can do is to spend less time strategizing and planning for an unpredictable future and more time paying attention to our passion and potential. Only then are we likely to both be employable and find satisfaction in our work.” (Norgaard, 2005).

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What do you do? ... when you know that you are going to spend around 20 hours on the plane? Well, that's how long it takes to fly from Singapore to the US. For me, the first thing I do upon boarding the plane is to adjust my watch to follow the destination time. During the journey, I start adjusting my body clock - i.e. if it is sleeping time in San Francisco, I try to get some sleep. This way, I minimize any jet lag, particularly if I have to present a paper soon after my arrival. .

For the recent trip, I borrowed a book from the library. What first caught my attention was its title, "The Ugly Ducking Goes to Work". Written by Mette Norgaard, the book probes Hans Christian Andersen’s sharp and witty stories for inspiring lessons to bring more meaning, more energy, and more joy to your work – i.e. to create a meaningful work life.

The first fairy tale covered in the book is The Emperor's New Clothes. I am sure most of us are familiar with this story, which is about an emperor who unwittingly hires two swindlers to create a new suit of clothes for him. An abridged version of the story is below. For a complete version, visit http://www.mindfully.org/Reform/Emperors-New-Clothes.htm.

The Emperor's New Clothes:

Many years ago, there lived an Emperor, who was so exceedingly fond of beautiful new clothes that he spent all his money on being well dressed. The Emperor was so fond of clothes that he did not care about anything else. Just as one might say that the King was in the council chamber, so it was said here” The Emperor is in his wardrobe.”

One day, two charlatans arrived. They claimed they could weave the most magnificent cloth, which had the strange quality of being invisible to everyone who was “unfit for his position” or “impermissibly stupid”. The Emperor thought this would be a great way for him to tell who could not handle his position and was unwise, and he ordered the cloth to be made at once.

All the people knew of the strange power of the cloth, and all were impatient to see how inept or dim-witted their neighbors were.

After some time, the Emperor wondered about the progress on the cloth. Feeling a lit uneasy about its strange power, he first sent a trusted minister and later another affable official to check the work. Neither could see a thing, for there was nothing there. Each wondered, “Could I be stupid?” “Could I be unsuited for my position?” But they wanted no one to find out, so they effusively praise the fine colors and patterns.

A few days later, the Emperor arrived with his entourage to see for himself. “What’s this!” thought the Emperor, “I can’t see anything! Am I stupid? Am I no good at being Emperor?” But to make sure no one would find out, he exclaimed, “Oh, it’s most beautiful!” The whole entourage also looked and looked, but made no more of it than others. “It is magnificent! Exquisite! Excellent! It went from mouth to mouth, and they advised the Emperor to have new clothes made for the upcoming procession...

Along the procession route the people cheered and applauded. Never had the Emperor’s clothes been such a success. But suddenly, a little child said, “But he doesn’t have anything on!” and people begin to whisper to one another that a child had said, “He doesn’t have anything on!” Soon everyone shouted, “But he doesn’t have anything on!”

The Emperor shudded, for it seemed to him they were right. Still, he had to see the procession through, and that he did..

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The Tale At Work

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This prickly story pokes fun at phoniness and snobbery and shows how fear and ego can drive one to foolishness.

All of us have a face we show to the world, a closely shaved or nicely made-up face, a company face… we know how to play the part of an enthusiastic supporter even when we cannot see the “truth”. As we see, “fitting in” is natural and we figure out how to do it before we are eight years old. We know how to color within the lines, get gold starts, and gain the approval of our parents and teachers. We also remember the pain of rejection. As social beings, we enjoy relationships simply for their own sake (having a good time), but when we become too practical, when we manage our careers, relationships can become mere transactional, a means to an end (playing our role and playing it safe) ...

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Our ability to fit in depends on how well we understand the prevailing culture, adapt to group’s rules, and adopt that way of keeping score. For example, we may sit in a meeting where everyone, including our boss, raves about a business guru’s latest book. How should we act if we think the book, “doesn’t have anything on”? Should we ask “dumb” questions? Should we speak our mind off, fake it, or be quiet?” … By choosing safety over honesty, they ended up doing a poor job in their roles as trusted advisers. If we let on that we cannot see that the new strategy is brilliant, we could be considered “impermissibly stupid.” If we do not applaud the new products or cheer the restructuring, we could be judged as “unfit for our position.” So, we publicly say the right words, so we play it safe.

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In today’s workplace, we deal with similar vulnerabilities. We fit into a group or a culture when we play by its rules and go along with its view of success. The child’s statement, “but he doesn’t have anything on!” is an example of how to speak candidly. We need to stop the deceptions and be descriptive. We need to name what is going on, at least to ourselves. This episode rings true because many of us have faced similar dilemmas and rationalized our decisions as “practical.”

Reflection: "When teenagers go along, we say they give in to peer pressure. But when adults do it, we say we are practical."

Source: M. Norgaard (2005) "The Ugly Duckling Goes to Work."

San Francisco: Top Attractions

New Year Greetings from San Francisco!

No longer forward nor behindI look in hope and fear; But grateful take the good I find, the best of now and here. - John G. Whittier

We are visiting San Francisco from Jan 1 - Jan 5. This will be my third visit (April 04 & April 07), whilst her first and last visit to this city was in April 04. The city, with its many famous landmarks, needs no introduction.

Enjoy a slideshow of some top attractions in San Francisco (file photos from our previous visits).

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Discover the heart of San Francisco!

A piece of advice for the new year:

"Don't waste your life in doubts and fears: spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours or ages that follow it." - Ralph Waldo Emerson