Control Your Own Agenda

The Emperor’s New Clothes story helps us to chuckle at life’s difficult moments and our own silliness. In the tale, the characters cannot see the new clothes, but because they fear rejection, they disregard their own experience and say the expected.

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H.C. Andersen’s intent with this fairy tale is not to judge us, but to ask us to be authentic. He does not denigrate us, but he does ask us to be aware. We do many things to fit in, from showing good manners to meeting deadlines, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem occurs when, in order to fit in, we disregard the facts and act contrary to our own values. Then, seeking to fit in becomes foolish.

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Why do we do it? Often, it is a matter of fear, of playing it safe. We want to look smart, avoid “career-limiting moves” and keep our jobs.

According to Noorgard, fear is often caused by financial vulnerabilities... we comply because we like our standard of living. We worry that if we speak our mind, our career will screech to a halt and our lifestyle will be downsized. Many of us feel trapped by mortgage, car, tuition, and credit card payments. We give up our freedom to pay for our way of life. When we face our fears and deal with them, we are able to resist “peer pressure” and also be practical.

Whose Agenda are you own?

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Ultimately, one of the main lessons of this tale is that we must look at whether we are in control of our own agenda. When we are anxious to fit in, we live our lives on other people’s agenda. When our self-esteem depends on the approval of others and on the perks or promotions they can give or withhold, they are in control. We accept the opinions of dominant players and deny our own – we adopt their agenda. This may have advantages in the short term but is very risky in the long term. When we become too practical and calculating about our careers, we tightly manage them to fit other people’s expectations. We listen to what our boss, human resources, and other key players have to say. We give up our desires, adapt to their rules, and adopt their scoreboard. Then later, if our jobs become downsized, outsourced, or offshored, we feel betrayed.

We go along because our boss and others higher in the hierarchy act as if they control our careers, and we buy into that view. We believe that as long as we play by their rules, we will be rewarded; that as long as we hit the numbers on their scoreboard we will succeed. Then, when they cannot deliver, we feel cheated.

We need to realize that their power is limited and trust our own. In the global economy, corporations will continue to change. We need to realize that,

'We are free agents, and our only security is our talent and track record."

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In the Ugly Duckling goes to Work, the author exhorts:

"we can do better than that by reclaiming our own agenda, by choosing the work we feel passionately about, the work we can do better than anyone else. As a result, instead of feeling entitled, we become responsible. Most important, we become world-class at what we do and we enjoy the process."

Source: Mette Norgaard "The Ugly Ducking Goes to Work"