Fly with Criticism

Our ability to take criticism can make or break us.

I am sure learning how to handle criticism is one tough lesson most of us have to handle in life. Just yesterday, a trustworthy friend told me that someone has been criticizing me behind my back. Two truths about criticisms.

photos: Melbourne (2005)

(1) No one is immune to criticism; in particular, if you're willing to stand apart from the crowd, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Count on some degree of criticism.

(2) No one is indifferent to criticism; it causes us to respond either positively or negatively. A negative attitude toward criticism can be more destructive than the criticism itself.

So, the question is not "Will I be confronted with criticism?" but "How do I handle and learn from criticism and confrontation?" In his book, Be a People Person, John Maxwell came up with one-word descriptions of the various ways people will respond to criticisms/confrontations:

BYE: The "bye" people never profit from confrontation; they don't hang around long enough. Their egos are too fragile.

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SPY: Spies become suspicious of everone. The begin an investigation to find out who in the organization is out to get them. Often they will avoid risking a failure again.

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FRY: Some people will simply get mad & either fly off at the handle or do a slow burn.

LIE: The liar has an excuse for every mistake. Therefore he never faces up to the reality of his situation.

CRY: Cry babies are overly sensitive and become hurt by confrontation. Unlike the "bye" people, criers hang around in hopes that people will see how mistreated they are and sympathize with them. They have a martyr complex.

SIGH: These people have a "That's-too-bad,-but-there's-nothing-I-can-do-about-it" attitude. They don't accept any responsibility for making right the wrong.

FLY: This category of people takes criticism and flies with it. They learn from it and become better because of it.

Which category has fit you in the past? Are there changes you need to make before you can take criticism and fly with it? I challenge you to start today.

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When you are willing to stick your neck out, someone will want to chop it off. Don't let that threat keep you from being all you can be. Rise above it. If we develop the ability to laugh at ourself, we will be much more relaxed when given or giving criticism.
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Source: John C. Maxwell, Be a People Person