The Ugly Duckling

“When we heed our longing, we grow into our ‘swanlike’ nature.”

Most of us would have heard of The Ugly Duckling story. This is a story about self discovery. Written by Hans Christian Henderson (1805-1875), it is the most autobiographical of the Danish author's works. H.Topsoe-Jensen wrote, "H.C. Hendeson just like the ugly duckling, was the poor one, dependent on benefactors who did not understand him, tormented and mistreated, full of feelings of inferiority, enduring long and difficult times troubled by doubts about his own worth, but deep inside secretly convinced that the ‘hour of reckoning’ would come".

There was nothing romantic about H.C. Andersen’s childhood. Not only was his family poor, but it was also less than respectable. His parents barely married before he was born, his grandmother had been jailed for having too many illegitimate children, his grandfather was in the lunatic asylum, and his illegitimate half-sister worked in a brothel. Furthermore, he was an effeminate and ugly boy, with feet that were too big, limbs that were too long, and eyes that were too small. Yet, through his own merit, H.C. Andersen made his way to Copenhagen, gained royal patronage, and became one of the best-loved authors in the world.

The Story (an abridged version):

One summer, close to the moat of a manor house, a mother duck was nesting. One by one the eggs cracked, but an uncommonly large one remained. An old duck insisted it was a turkey egg and warned of the mother that turkeys were afraid of water. When it finally cracked, a large, ugly duckling tumbled out. Fearing he was indeed a turkey, the mother thought, “into the water with him, even if I have to kick him in.”

She brought her brood down to the moat, and one after the other the ducklings plopped in and they all floated splendidly, including the ugly one. “No, that’s no turkey!” thought the mother, “He’s my own alright!”

Once in a duck yard, the others picked on the ugly one for he was so different. The ducks bit him, the hens pecked him, and even the girl who came to feed them kicked him. His sisters and brothers said they hoped the cat would take him, and eventually even the mother wished him far away…

… the duckling loved floating and diving, but the other creatures continued to reject him. One fall evening the duckling noticed a flock of beautiful white birds with long, graceful necks: They were swans! The majestic creatures spread their wings and flew away toward warmer climates. The duckling felt strangely connected. Although they soon disappeared from sight, there was no way he could forgot those stunning creatures.

Winter came …. and finally spring returned and the duckling tested his wings. They made a strong swooshing sound as they carried him to a beautiful garden. When he landed on the water, he saw the majestic birds again, but this time they were coming toward him… He feared they might hack him to death for being so hideous. Accepting his fate, he bowed his head toward the surface of the still water and suddenly he saw his own reflection – he was himself a swan!

His Response:

“Then he felt quite shy and put his head under his wing – he did not know what to do. He was too happy! But he was not proud, for a good heart is never proud! He thought about how he had been mistreated and mocked, and now he heard everyone say that he was the loveliest of all the lovely birds. The lilacs bowed to him, … and the sun shone so warm and bright. And then he puffed up his feathers, lifted his slender neck, and rejoiced with all his heart; “I never dreamt there could be so much happiness when I was the ugly duckling.”

So what is the morale of this story? Mette Norgaard, in her book, The Ugly Duckling Goes to Work, argues that we do not succeed in life by having an enviable career; we succeed by finding where we belong and becoming the person we were meant to be. Just because we live with certain people, that does not mean we belong with them; we belong with those who share or encourage our longing. Also, just because we grow older, that does not mean we grow into who we were meant to be.

We grow into our essence only when our false self-images die and our true self is born.

.

source: Mette Norgaard, The Ugly Duckling Goes to Work

When I Became a Christian

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believeth in Him shall have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but the world through him might be saved.” (John 3:16-17)

Next week, I would have been a Christian for exactly 24 years! I was rummaging through my old stuff the other day when I came across a testimony that I wrote on 8 April, 1986 (just four months after I became a Christian). The structure follows an inspiring testimony of a pastor in China. I am happy to share my story:

14th December 1985, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and my Saviour. Most of my university friends were surprised with my decision.

photo: 16th birthday

My life before I was a Christian: As a teenager, I am no different from any other teenagers. Just like everyone, I wanted to be happy and happiness to me means freedom, power and wealth. Whatever I do, I wanted to be the best: the top student, the greatest doctor, or the wealthiest property tycoon. I normally carry a smile on my face and many indeed regarded me as one of the happier persons around. But I realized that my happiness was only external because it depended on my circumstances: If things were going great for me, I feel great. When things are not going well and out of control, I feel lousy.

Another thing about me is that I could not stand loneliness. Whenever I’m alone, I would feel lonely and would often ponder about the meaning of life. Not able to find any good answers, I would feel empty and low. So, I kept myself occupied under piles of books and flowed along with the social activities in the university. Whenever I gave myself to study and sports, my spirit would rise. In college, I also took up the executive position of Sports Secretary of the BEMS Society, partly to serve and partly for the prestige and its value add to my resume.

photo: Kent Ridge Hall, NUS (1987)
My attitude towards Christianity: By nature, I am curious and always keen to learn. Whilst I would ponder over many problems, but whenever the issue of Christianity was raised I would be hard hearted. I had a cold attitude towards Christianity. Somehow, I would react negatively towards Christianity, but not to other religions. Looking back, I really do not understand why. Perhaps, it is because some Christians I knew were either too pushy about their faith or I was turned off by their “holier than thou” attitude.

This continued until I heard someone in campus said that “religion should have the power to change one’s life.” That statement caught my attention and from that day onwards, I began to seek what is the actual meaning of religion. To my 20th year, I have always considered myself a free thinker, although I would declare I am of a certain religion when I had to fill in my particulars on official application forms etc.

.
In campus, I met a group of Christians whom I observed had something different about their lives. One thing I admired them was that, unlike many of us, their happiness is not dependent on circumstances. I was won over by their sense of friendship. I started reading the Bible, I started asking question, and I started following the weekly radio broadcast (Sunday, 6.30 pm) secretly.

The day I became a Christian: On 14 December 1985, I accepted an invitation from a classmate to attend a Christian service at the National Stadium. The evangelist, Reinhard Bonke, used a very simple analogy to explain the cleansing power of Jesus Christ. Like a bar of soap, the evangelist stated that no matter how much knowledge you possess about a soap (even if you possess a PhD), you will not be able to experience its cleansing power unless you use it personally. I found myself agreeing with the preacher and told myself that I must try out the soap. After all, there is no harm trying, right? … if it doesn’t work, I can always say that I have tried and it doesn’t work for me!

At the end of the service, I found my way among a multitude of people going down to the field to pray to receive Jesus Christ into their lives. I remember telling the counselor who attended to me that I don’t want to pray the “sinners’ prayer. Instead, my prayer went something like this, “Jesus, I agree with the analogy used by the preacher. I am willing to use the soap for one month. Show me within this period who you are...” At that moment, I did not experience any sensation.

While I was travelling home, I realized that I would face opposition from my family and possibly, ridicules from my close friends. Doubts arose. I feared losing my lifestyle; I feared having to make sacrifices. I wondered if I have made the right decision.

Four months later: Now, I can tell you that I hadn’t made the wrong decision. Since that evening, my life was gradually changed. From one aspect, I start to experience true happiness and mental peace that are not influenced by circumstances. It wasn’t so much the absence of conflict or problems but the ability to cope with them. I can also control my emotional needs and desires better. I am no longer afraid of being alone. I also found my perspective of Christianity changed. I now have faith, I have purpose and I have the will to live a righteous life….

I am clearly aware of the change that had taken place in me. I became zealous for the way of the Lord. I no longer have the will to pass my days aimlessly but to live a fulfilled live through Jesus Christ, for the glory of God. Within me, there is an excitement that made me want to tell others of the good news I have received and experienced. Just like the verse of a popular song,

“that’s what it is with God’s love; Once you experience it, you want to pass it on.”

.

What I have done is to share what I’ve witnessed and experienced personally. I hope it bring forth understanding, comfort and encouragement to those who are tired and confused with the meaning of life. Christianity is not something that can be forced onto someone. God has given each of us a free will to make choices and the decision is ultimately ours. But his invitation still stands, if anyone opens his or her heart, Jesus will be delighted to enter. I find this prayer helpful for those who want to receive Christ:

.

“Jesus, I acknowledge and confess my flaws and sins. I hear that you love me and died on the cross for me. Thank you. I trust you as my Saviour and my Lord. Make me the person you have created me to be. Amen”

...

p/s - I found out recently that Gurmit Singh, who is a popular show host, actor and comedian in Singapore, also prayed to receive Christ at same the Reihart Bonke mission. Gurmit shared his testimony (at our church's anniversary celebration last year) that he accepted Christ on Dec 13, 1985, which is just one day before mine.

On the Road: Tallahassee & Atlanta

Question: What is the capital of Florida state?

Answer: Tallahassee!

Huh, where exactly is it located? It is located north-west of Florida, just across the border from Georgia state.

Well, we will be spending four days in Tallahassee (photo on the right), visiting a friend. Our journey will take us via Singapore-Tokyo-Atlanta (20 hours by air, excluding stopovers) and then Atlanta-Tallahassee (6 hours, by car) .

After Tallahassee, we go back to Atlanta where we will be staying for another 3 days. I will be attending and presenting a research paper at the annual ASSA meeting.

We leave for the airport in 2 hours time, and will be back on January 7. Until then, our prayer for you is that may 2010 be an exceedingly prosperous year for you. May whatever you plan and do prosper and bear fruits in abundance.

Scripture for 2010: "Blessed is the man ... whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." - Psalms 1:1-3

Do You Remember?

The anniversary is a chance to take a step back and have a look at the year that has gone by and do a close-up analysis of your marriage. It gives you the chance to rekindle some of the flame that used to burn brightly. It gives you a chance to say you’re sorry about things that have gone wrong and it gives you a chance to escape the world and concentrate on one another completely for 24 hours. With modern day society being as hectic as it is, it is so easy to get lost in the everyday drama of work, meetings, children, colleagues and more. Far too many couples get “lost” along the way and the anniversary is the perfect opportunity to get things “back on track” at least once a year – Marrilyn (Travelling Bride).

photo: The Padang, S'pore (Nov 09)

Today is the anniversary of “Will you Be My Wife (BMW)?” proposal. My wife and I share the same belief that each and every anniversary deserves to be celebrated in a memorable way. Some friends are amazed that we actually remember our proposal date. A few, particularly the guys, may even ask why fuss over anniversary? Why do we need to remember dates in the first place? Well, a simple reason is when we celebrate our anniversary each year it is an annual renewal of our commitment to one another.

.

In his sermon on The Importance of Remembering the Past, Bruce Goettsche notes as a nation, we have tried to keep our history alive through monuments. We have monuments to various wars. We have museums that contain artifacts that tell the story of the past. We place monuments in cemeteries and study family genealogical records, all in an attempt to keep our "history" alive. Similarly, God didn't just tell the Israelites to remember . . . He gave them aids to help them remember. In the biblical history of Israel, God made a habit of building monuments and establishing symbols that would keep his people informed. For example, He gave the rainbow to Noah; the rite of circumcision to Abraham; the sacrificial system & the required feasts, etc. And Jesus instituted Baptism and Holy Communion, commanding “This Do in Remembrance of Me.”

Goettsche went on to offer three reasons why we need to remember: (1) Because we have selective memory, (2) Because it reminds us of our blessings, and (3) Because it spurs us on and keeps us focused. Whilst his sermon focused on what remembering does for our spiritual lives, I feel that the same reasons apply to celebrating one’s proposal, engagement, or wedding anniversary.

Because we have selective memories: For the first point, he uses the following example to illustrate what he meant. When you are in a conflict with another person, what offenses do you remember most clearly? Your offenses, or the other person's? If you are like most people you remember what others did TO you while you spotlight what you did FOR the other person. We conveniently forget the things we did to provoke a conflict.

.
Because it Reminds us Of Our Blessings. Isn't it a wonderful thing to page through a scrapbook or look at wedding pictures? Isn't it a precious thing to look through the photo albums and remember the people who have touched our lives and the events that enriched us? It's hard to look at those things and not be grateful for the blessings we've had.

.
Because it Spurs Us On and Keeps us Focused. The whole point of remembering is to spur you on. Remembering your wedding vows helps you focus again on your commitment. Remembering how much it hurt to lose someone helps you cherish those you had taken for granted. Remembering how much a visit meant when you experienced loss will spur you on to make that difficult visit to a friend who is grieving. Remembering how scared you were when you were sick will help you to cherish the days you have.

In summary, when we forget the past we lose the anchor that keeps us from drifting. Just as God establish memorials to remind his people, celebrating our anniversary is establishing our own monuments of remembrance. For me and my wife, Nov 28 will be always be a special day! Because it is the day we committed ourselves and our future to each other… it is the day we agreed to be fellow pilgrims on this earth journey. And celebrating the anniversary reminds us of the circumstances, places and divine hand that brought us together.

So what did we do to celebrate our anniversary this year? We decided to break our normal routine and went on a date the whole day. Our date starts at Raffles City where we went shopping for a camera, tv and some gifts for her friends. Then, we had a relaxing lunch at a Japanese restaurant. After that, we took a stroll along memory lane – The Padang, the place where I went down on my knees to propose to her exactly 19 years ago. We went visited some art exhibitions at the City Hall before finding our way to Funan IT Mall where we had popiah and coffee.

At the mall, we bumped into a couple from church, who are also staying in our condominium. We had tea with them for an hour or so before making our way to Bistro 103 at Pasir Panjang for dinner - I found the casual bistro after googling on web as a follow up to my wife’s request to have BBQ ribs for dinner. The meal was nice and service was fast and good. We ended up chatting with the pleasant proprietor who readily gave us a 10% discount on hearing that it was our anniversary.

We didn't reached home till 9.00 pm. It was a long day but we had a wonderful time enjoying each other company. Below are the photos we took today (using the new camera) plus some old photos from the file.

Source: http://www.travellingbride.co.za/artickes-and-news/ ; Rev. Bruce Goettsche, LaHarpe, IL. 61450 www.unionchurch.com

Nowhere's Man

Do you remember Randy Pausch? Yes, the computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon who became very famous because of his witty and inspiring Last Lecture. Although he died in July 2008, his legacy continues to inspire many.

"The best gift an educator can give is to get somebody to become self reflective." "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." - Randy Pausch

During my final lecture for RE4802 Real Estate Development, I entitled the revision lecture "The Last Lecture". I name it such because it was my last lecture for the semester. Also, for some students, it will truly be their last lecture in the university as they are graduating this semester.

I also shared with the students my posting on the Last Lecture (http://happyvalley-prof.blogspot.com/2008/11/last-lecture.html) in the discussion forum. At the end of that posting, if you recall, there was a reflection question: Consider what would be your last lecture. What wisdom would you impart to the world if you knew it was your last chance? If you had to vanish tomorrow, what would you want as your legacy?

Several students, to my surprise, responded and I was truly encouraged by their deep and insightful reflection. One in particular caught my attention and I have obtained permission to share it here:

I agree that education is indeed one of the most life-transforming careers (for ourselves and the people whom we impart to) and yet its value has often been undermined. Of course, not everyone would have the call and passion to teaching as a career, but I believe that in our life, we would have many opportunities to impact and influence the people whom we meet, and that itself is a chance to educate, to deposit something into someone and make a difference, no matter how direct or significant.

.

If I were to share something for my last lecture, I would encourage people to have a single passion to live by, not to waste our life. There's this song by John Lennon, 'Nowhere's Man':

He's a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans

For nobody

Doesn't have a point of view

Knows not where he's going to

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

We only get one pass at life, and it would be a tragedy to see ourselves wandering aimlessly without knowing the essence or purpose for our lives.

.

I hope that we won't be a nowhere's man and will live our lives with passion and purpose, not to have a minimal life but to live it to the full (well.. I can't and wouldn't want to define it here for you, it's for you to discover for yourself how would you not want to waste your life). Have that kind of single-minded commitment to your purpose and be prepared to take paths of risk and sacrifice. Live a life that counts, with passion and purpose!
And with regards to what I would like to be remembered for, I hope that I would have made a difference in as many people's lives as possible. It's about the lives I've touched and how much value I've added to them, through believing in them and giving them opportunities to grow in character and understanding and building them up. I believe that relationships are one of the key reasons why we are on earth. At our deathbed, no one would recall how much profits I've made for my company but it will be the people around who really matter.

So, I hope that my legacy would be one that people can remember me for the difference I've made in their lives. There is nothing more satisfying than that to me :)

Believe the Best

Each of us is given seeds. Each of us bear fruit – a yield – very often in direct relationship to our ability to till, to plant, to nurture, and to reap.

.

This semester, which has just ended, has been a busy one for me. In the last segment of my last lecture, I shared with my students a few photos on maple trees I took in State College.

Matured maple trees are like the giants of the industry whom they encountered in the course of taking my module: CEO Keppel Land, CEO Singland, CEO Orchard Turn, GM Keppel Bay, MD Citibank, MD Knight Frank, Senior Exec Director Chesterton & VP Mapletree. Their achievements are the aspirations of many students.

But guess where do all these giant trees started?

Yes, giant maple trees all started from small maple saplings. And where do saplings come from?

Tiny Seeds!






.

.

.

.

.

I went on to encourage my students not to underestimate the days of small beginnings. Just as every seed has great potential to grow and bear fruit, they have great potential in them. I shared my conviction:

"the best buildings are yet to be developed! The most innovative real estate deals have not yet been executed."

Why? Because the people behind those buildings and deals are still in my classroom today. I sincerely believe that this will come true one day. What I am doing is developing my students' expectation level by believing the best in them. As John Maxwell wrote, "when you look up to people, they begin to look up to their dreams". And if we have high expectation level and believe in people, we will encourage them. This is the principle of seeing people not as they are but as they can be.

Many people, according to John Maxwell, unfortunately have a low personal expectation level. Leaders and educators need to know how to develop a dream for others and share it with them.... If we can have four eyes, two for seeing what is and two for seeing what might be, we can help others dream. Everyone needs to be exposed to a vision. Unfortunately, not everyone will go for it. Pursue it with those who are ready to stretch.

.

Below are some photos my students took over the course of this semester. On the last day of lecture, they collectively decided to come to school wearing the uniform of their junior colleges/secondary schools:

source: John Maxwell, Be a People Person

Dry Curry Chicken

Some funny quotes on food:

"Anything that walks, swims, crawls, or flies with its back to heaven is edible." - a cantonese saying; "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it' - Buddy Hackett; "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian" - anon; "I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli." - George Bush (1990).

.

Yesterday, whilst accompanying my wife to a supermarket in Bukit Panjang, I was attracted to a bunch of lemon grass. I asked myself, what could we do with this? Instantly, "curry chicken" came to my mind. Instead of the traditional version, I thought it would be nice to cook the "dry version", which has a thicker gravy. So, I consulted my wife if she is game for curry tonight?

Refer to earlier posting for recipe on traditional curry chicken: (http://happyvalley-prof.blogspot.com/2007/08/weather.html )

We decided to cook a big pot so that we could share it with some church friends whom we are meeting this evening. So, the frenzy shopping starts: from the lemon grass, which sparked to curry inspiration, we bought fresh tumeric (yellow ginger), galangal (blue ginger), dried chilies from the same supermarket. For the chicken, we decided to drive to our favorite poutry stall in Bukit Batok, but alas when we reached there, it is already closed for the day. No choice, we went to the nearby NTUC supermarket to buy a pack of frozen chicken tighs (12 pieces). We visited another provision shop to pick up onions and potatoes. At another shop, I bought some buah keras and yet at another vegetable stall, we bought some fresh chilies.

.

We went home happily thinking that we had all the ingredients for the curry (purchased from 5 different shops!). In the evening, I started preparing the cleaning & marinating the chicken, cutting the ingredients and pounding the ingredients. It would have been easier to use the blender, but I did it manually as I thought it would be a good way to relax and take my mind off my research. So, I spent a good time pounding away on the mortar.

.

However, just when we were about to cook the curry, I realized that we ran out of the most important ingredient: aiyah, no more curry powder! So, another mad dash to a nearby supermarket to replenish.

.

Below is a slide show of the preparation and cooking process:

BEMS Class 1988 Reunion

Last Saturday (November 7, 2009), the Department of Real Estate and Department of Building at the National University of Singapore celeberated their 40th anniversary together. In total, there were more than 120 tables.

BEMS Class of 1988 had three tables. Below is a group photo we took at the dinner. Time flies, it has been 21 years since we graduated. Plus four years as undergraduates together, most of us would have known each other for at least 25 years!

seated (from left): Cara Kwok Sook Han, ......., Wendy Chan, Lorraine Phoon, Leng Chiak Sun & Celeste, Michelle Lee, Julianne Lee (Mong Ling).
standing (from left): Ng Kwee Ming, Ashley Wee, David Tham, Joseph Ooi, Quek Sze Kheng, Winston Cheah, Andrew Tan Tiah Yeow, Kam Teck Kwong, Donald Han, Herald Bangras, Tan Choi Heng, Ng Seng Tat (Jackson), Sally Mok, Judy & David Lim (Chee Seng), Joyce Koh (Peck Duan), Chua Ming Lee, Lee Mei Ling.

Attended but not in photo: Yip Kean Mun, Ching Aik Chuan, Wong Teng Teng.

Taking Ownership

“Leaders take ownership of the results and do not try to excuse those or blame someone else for them.” - Henry Cloud

Workers, on the other hand, do a job. They do what they are told, and that is all they are responsible for, in their mind set. If the desired result does not happen, that is not their problem because they did what they were told. And at the “worker” level, they are right. They are not held accountable for results, but for what they do, i.e. whether or not they follow instructions and implement what management tells them to do (p. 186).

Leaders and, more than that, all successful people do not worry about just making the authority happy. They worry about the results…. It is not enough for the integrated character to be seen as “having followed orders” if the ship sinks or the company is not profitable… Integrated characters want good fruit. They want things to work, and they take ownership of the results as well as their own performance (p. 186-7).

It is human nature for us to blame and externalize. Losers excuse practically every result in their life and blame something outside themselves for what happens. They do not see themselves as contributors to the result...

Successful people, on the other hand, do not blame the outside world for their lack of success in any given venture or relationship.... Successful people care very, very little about ‘fault”. They do not worry about things “being their fault”. Fault to them does not have the most important implications, as it does for immature characters. What has the most important implications for mature characters is solving the problem.

If it means that they need to do something differently, that the way they did it was part of the problem, to them that is good news, not bad. They love knowing that. It gives them control of making it better (p. 188).

Source: Henry Cloud, Integrity

GUEST Service

I have not been keeping this blog updated in the past few months as it has been a very hectic period for me. I am beginning to see the light in the tunnel, with the semester of teaching coming to an end soon. Below is a blog posting entitled, "Treat Your Customer as Your Guest" by NUS office of quality management which I find very meaningful. It is also appropriate since we have been hosting a number of professors visiting Singapore.

photo: Geoff, US (July 09)

One of the key success factors of great service organisations like Ritz Carlton and Walt Disney is that they treat their customers as guests. Therefore, to deliver great service, we first need to embrace the paradigm of treating our customers as guests. This involves learning and practising the "Guest” philosophy, a set of principles for delivering the extraordinary guest experience.

photo: Tony, US (Oct 2009)

Generosity in hospitality : The word “hospitality” is known as the act of generously providing care and kindness to whoever is in need. As a host, one should not only be concerned about meeting or exceeding the guest’s physical and functional needs, but also about satisfying his psychological and emotional needs. In the paper “Customer Experience: The Next Competitive Battleground” by Beyond Philosophy, 69 per cent of all consumers surveyed said that emotions accounted for 50 per cent or more of every customer experience. Therefore, to win your guest’s approval, satisfy his psychological needs; and if you want to win his heart, satisfy his emotional needs.

photo: Gianluca, UK & Dogan, Australia (Oct 09)
Unique individual : Every guest is an individual with unique physical, functional, psychological and emotional needs. Service thus has to be personalised as this would make the guest feel special, instead of like a digit in the stream of customers that come and go.

photo: Simon (UK), Kyung-Hwan (S.Korea) & Charles (HK)

Everyone is welcome : As all customers are your guests, every one of them should feel welcomed and be treated with dignity and respect. There should be no discrimination, prejudice or bias against your guest in terms of age, race, gender, religion or culture. Your guest is a human being; hence, any mistreatment will be felt and such hurt will not go away easily. The damage will be greater if the guest complains about the company to his friends, relatives, colleagues and business partners.
photo: Brent & Cinda (Oct 09)
Service to others : The hallmark of treating your customers as guests is to be of service to them. The host can feel an emotional sense of satisfaction when he sees and senses that his guest leaves the premises happier than when he first arrived.

Total guest experience: The contact that you have with your guest is not simply a short engagement but a summation of all physical and non-physical contacts the guest has with the organisation and its staff. People remember experiences and not just services or products.

photo: HRH The Prince Andrew, UK (Oct 09)
In summary, GUEST Service stands for (1) Generosity in hospitality, (2) Unique individual, (3) Everyone is welcome, (4) Service to others, and (5) Total guest experience.

.
Source: Quality Blog, NUS (adapted from the article “Treat Your Customer as Your Guest”, Today’s Manager Jun-Jul 2009).

Words - Scrambled

1. PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER

2. ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER

3. DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

4. THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE

5. GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

6. THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

7. DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM

8. SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

9. ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY

10. ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

11. SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

12. A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE

13. THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

14. ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE

15. MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

Thompson Seedless Grapes

Grapes, however, are the very picture of fragility: nothing more than thin-skinned little bags of juice.

In her book, How to Pick A Peach, Russ Parsons described "table grapes are essentially nothing but guilt-free snack foods – conveniently packaged sugar water that allows you to feel virtuous while you eat it."

The dominant table grapes today are varieties such as Thompson Seedless, Ruby Seedless, Crimson Seedless and Flame Seedless. Their primary selling point is self-explanatory: seedless. It’s hard to be a popular convenience food when people have to interrupt their snacking to spit out the pips.

photo: Vineyard @ Rhine Valley, Germany (2009)
Originally called the Sultanina Bianca, Thompson Seedless was popularized in the US by William Thompson, a Californian nurseryman in the late 19th century. Today the Thompson seedless grape is the most popular table grape as well as one of the most versatile. It is also used for juice and inexpensive wine and accounts for 95 percent of the raisins produced in California.

.

Properly grown and matured to full ripeness, the Thompson Seedless has startlingly good flavor – a pleasingly flowery quality. The problem is that you can rarely find a fully mature Thompson Seedless in the market. When ripe, the variety has a tendency to ‘shatter’ – that is the grapes fall off the bunch. This is inconvenient for the growers, the retailer and the consumer. And so Thompson Seedless are usually picked when they are still green. At this point they can be sweet, but they are never much more.

The Thompson Seedless is coddled like some kind of exotic bonsai tree. Not only are the vines trained to grow along specially designed trellises, but they are also meticulously pruned to manage the right number of leaves, the right number of shoots and the right number of grape clusters. And that is just the start.

photo: Vineyard in Melbourne (2005)

Left on its own devices, the Thompson Seedless vines produces grapes that are quite small, particularly when picked early. To get around that, farmers have come up with some innovative techniques to increase grape size. Between girding and gibbing, a farmer can increase the size of an individual grape by as much as a third.

Girdling – which involves cutting a ring in the bark all the way around the base of the vine just as the grapes begin to emerge (and often again as the grapes begin to gain color). This interrupts the flow of nutrients to the leaves and concentrates them in the fruit.

Gibbing – applying gibberellic acid, a naturally occurring plant growth regular extracted from a cultivated fungus. It increases the size of individual grapes and also stretches out grape clusters, allowing better air circulation and thus reducing disease.

source: How to Pick a Peach

Failure is Not Fatal

Last week, my students and I visited the newest shopping mall in Singapore at the heart of Orchard Road, namely the ION Orchard. The field trip started with a presentation by the CEO on the competitive advantages of the new shopping mall. After the visit, one student contributed the following on the discussion forum:

"In addition, the CEO mentioned that one of the challenges that she had met in this process is that everything is a risk to her. Even by bringing in new options and having a global flagships is a new thing that they are trying out. I feel that it is an important thing for us to be innovative when it comes to tenant mix as often singaporeans feel that shops in singapore are always the same. Therefore, i agree with her that everything is a risk no matter what we do, we should not always stay in our comfort zone but to step out of it and give it a try, only then could we know if we are successful."

In this posting, I would like to expand on the student's reflection which remind me of 3 four-letter words, i.e. RISK, FEAR & FAIL! Over this weekend, I came across an interesting quotation by Theodore Roosevelt:

"The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything."

The author of the book Bringing Out the Best in People suggests that we should probably reprimand our group if they are not having a few flops, for if they're not failing now and again, it's a sign they're playing it safe. Jack Lemmon once said, "Failure never hurt anybody. It's the fear of failure that kills you... You've got to go down the alley and take those chances."

Seneca also said, "if thou art a man, admire those who attempt great things, even though they fail." The author warned a fatal mistake made by some is to lash out so harshly at young people for some failure that they scale down their aspirations and not longer strive for high goals.

When asked for the ingredients of good managment, a CEO once replied, "You need the ability to fail. I'm amazed at the number of organizations that set up an environment where they do not permit their people to be wrong. You cannot innovate unless you are willing to accept some mistakes."

In the face of failures, there are two possible responses: (1) Quit - unable to rise from their failure, they scale down their dreams and live out their lives in resignation and cautious mediocrity, or (2) Overcome - when they stumble, they pick themselves up, look around o learn from their mistakes, and then go on to finish the race with distinction.

The best managers expect their people to make mistakes, and instead of replacing staff constantly, they recognize that it is more efficient to teach people to cope with their failures and learn from their mistakes. They create an environment whereby FAILURE is not FATAL!

source: Bringing out the Best In People

Prayer for Tourists

"Busy sight-seeing, the frantic tourist rushes through the sites faster than a speeding bullet. The frantic's tourist's primary concern is merely to be able to cover as much ground as possible, in the least amount of time - just to be able to say, 'I've been there, seen this, and done that'. Then he hurries on in his conquest of space, but not in his understanding of it." - Edmund Chan

photo: Perth (Sep 1992)

In his book Growing Deep in God (page 97), Pastor Edmund Chan shared that he came across an interesting display-cloth with the printed words, “Prayer for Tourists” in Subiaco Market in Perth, Australia.

Melbourne (2005)

Heavenly Father,

Look down upon your humble obedient tourist servants, who are doomed to travel this earth taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs and walking around in drip-dry underwear.

Give us this day divine guidance in the selection of our hotel; that we may find our reservations honoured, our room made up and hot water running from our faucets. We pray that the telephone works and that the operators can speak our tongues.

Lead us, dear Lord, to good and inexpensive restaurants where the food is superb, the waiters friendly, the wine included in the price.

Give us wisdom to tip correctly in the currencies we do not understand. Forgive us for under-tipping out of ignorance, over-tipping out of fear. May the locals love us for what we are and not for what we can contribute to their worldly goods.

Grant us the strength to visit the museum, the parks, the government buildings and all the musts in the guide book, and if perchance, we skip a historic monument to grab a sleep after lunch, have mercy on us, for our flesh is weak.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

.

.

.

.P.S.

For husbands only: Dear God, keep our wives from shopping sprees and protects them from bargains they don’t need or can’t afford. Lead them not into temptation for they know not what they do.

For wives only: Oh mighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us. Save them from making fools of themselves in cafes and nightclubs. Above all, do not forgive them for their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.

Spiritual Application:

Edmund Chan wrote that the frantic tourist is a parable of life. He is a parable of prayer. He reflects little on his journey, thus he understands little of it. Similarly, many people hurry through prayer, but reflect little on it. They see, but do not perceive. They observe, but do not understand. They hurry through prayers as if the destination is more important than the journey. They are compulsively driven to complete a task rather than to enjoy the presence of God. They pray driven prayers rather than devout prayers.

.

To grow deeper in prayer, we must not be in a hurry... Prayer is like taking an unhurried walk.

.

.

source: Edmund Chan (2008) Growing Deep in God - Integrating Theology & Prayer

Through The Years

"Through the years, you've never let me down
You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found
I've found with you ... through the years."

My wife celebrated her birthday last weekend. We had a quiet dinner at Chalk, a supposedly french/italian restaurant located at an old school compound at Mt. Sophia. I picked the restaurant after reading the following review on the HungryGoWhere website:

"Chalk is definately a hidden gem located on Mt Sophia. Awesome food, awesome people and awesome environment. Great value for the quality food you are getting and it is definately an experience that's worth spending every penny on."

I booked a table in the air-con section, but we decided to sit outside on the deck as the evening was quite cooling. Ambience wise, it was pleasant and nice. The service staff was also very friendly. But the food was just average... In total, we spent $83... for seafood bisque ($15), rocket salad ($8), duck confit ($29), 12" pizza ($18) and fondant cake ($13). But we did enjoyed each other company; away from the hustle and bustle of daily routine.

In celebration, I dedicated the song "Through The Years" sung by Kenny Rogers for her. The words are very meaningful for a couple who have been through the years:

I can't remember when you weren't there

When I didn't care for anyone but you
I swear we've been through everything there is

Can't imagine anything we've missed

Can't imagine anything the two of us can't do

Through the year, you've never let me down

You turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found

I've found with you ... through the years

I've never been afraid, I've loved the life we've made

And I'm so glad I've stayed, right here with you

Through the years

I can't remember what I used to do

Who I trusted whom, I listened to before

I swear you've taught me everything I know

Can't imagine needing someone so

But through the years it seems to me

I need you more and more

Through the years, through all the good and bad

I knew how much we had, I've always been so glad

To be with you ... through the years

Its better everyday, you've kissed my tears away
As long as its okay, Ill stay with you

Through the years

Through the years, when everything went wrong

Together we were strong, I know that I belonged
Right here with you ... through the years

I never had a doubt, we'd always work things out

I've learned what loves about, by loving you

Through the years

Through the years, you've never let me down

You've turned my life around, the sweetest days I've found

I've found with you ... through the years

Its better everyday, you've kissed my tears away

As long as its okay, Ill stay with you

Through the years!

The Art of Persuasion

To persuade (not manipulate; nor intimidate) means to use sweetness to get people to do things. Effective persuasion is a result of relating, not ruling. It speaks to the heart as well as to the head. - John Maxwell

photos: Switzerland (1993)

1) Know precisely what you’re trying to accomplish
Before you can persuade others on any issue, you need to know just exactly what it is you want to accomplish.

2) Place yourself in the other person’s shoes
We persuade, not from our own perspective, but from getting the perspective of others. What do they know? What do they feel? What do they want?
People have certain needs and expectations. If they can see that what you want can also give them what they want, they will be much more open and receptive.

When you want to convert someone to your view, you go over to where he is standing, take him by the hand (mentally speaking), and guide him. You don’t stand across the room and shout at him; you don’t call him a dummy; you don’t order him to come over to where you are. You start where he is and work from that position.

3) Expose the problems immediately
Lay all his cards on the table at the beginning… Always deal with the problem issues up front! This establishes a base of trust, which is necessary for any relationship.

4) Appeal to the higher vision
Most people are inherently decent and fair and they want to “do the right thing.” It is your job, as the persuader, to make them understand the human values represented by your position. They must be made to feel empathy for what you are trying to do so that emotionally they want to give you the response you seek.

5) Know when to stop
There is great dignity in simplicity. Simplicity is eloquent; it speaks loud and clear without insulting the intelligence of the listener.

.

6) Cover your topic with enthusiasm
Be enthusiastic! A speech without enthusiasm is like a landscaped painted entirely in shades of gray – there is form but no color. Enthusiasm alone will many times give you the edge you need.

source: John Maxwell, Be a People Person