Saturday, November 14, 2009
Dry Curry Chicken
Friday, October 16, 2009
Words - Scrambled
2. ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARER
3. DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
4. THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
5. GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
6. THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
7. DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOM
8. SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
9. ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:IS NO AMITY
10. ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
11. SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
12. A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE
13. THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
14. ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters:TWELVE PLUS ONE
15. MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
Monday, September 21, 2009
Prayer for Tourists
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Heavenly Father, 
Look down upon your humble obedient tourist servants, who are doomed to travel this earth taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs and walking around in drip-dry underwear.
Give us this day divine guidance in the selection of our hotel; that we may find our reservations honoured, our room made up and hot water running from our faucets. We pray that the telephone works and that the operators can speak our tongues.
Lead us, dear Lord, to good and inexpensive restaurants where the food is superb, the waiters friendly, the wine included in the price.
Give us wisdom to tip correctly in the currencies we do not understand. Forgive us for under-tipping out of ignorance, over-tipping out of fear. May the locals love us for what we are and not for what we can contribute to their worldly goods.
Grant us the strength to visit the museum, the parks, the government buildings and all the musts in the guide book, and if perchance, we skip a historic monument to grab a sleep after lunch, have mercy on us, for our flesh is weak.
For wives only: Oh mighty Father, keep our husbands from looking at foreign women and comparing them to us. Save them from making fools of themselves in cafes and nightclubs. Above all, do not forgive them for their trespasses for they know exactly what they do.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Women & Cars
Sometime back, our pastor shared the following joke over the pulpit. Imagine this scene:
A husband came home from work. He saw his wife cooking in the kitchen. He went into the kitchen, stood beside her, and started making a lot remarks such as:
"careful, careful", "quick, quick, the pan is getting hot"; "turn now, turn now, it'll get burnt"; "lower the fire, it is too big"; "watch out"; "not too much oil"; "more salt"; "more pepper"; "you are not doing it correct"...
By now, the wife gets really annoyed with the husband, and told the husband off: "Why did you do that. It's really annoying. I was just frying an egg!" Husband, replied: "I know. I just wanted you to know how I feel each time when I am driving with you sitting next to me".
Today, a church friend send us a video clip with the title, "female_driver_compilation". It is really funny. In case you have the wrong idea, the sender is a woman. And she has this to add, "Now you know why I don’t drive right, even I have a driving licence .. so stressful you know…:)"
Finally, one piece of advice for those who are newly marrieds. Whilst there are many things you can teach each other, there is one thing a husband should never do: "Don't teach the wife how to drive."
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Shanghai Noon
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Born Loser

I also received some jokes through the e-mail from a former student. ABUYA reminds me very much of Born Loser. Enjoy!

AYUBA bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,'My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310.. Now it is 6610'
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AYUBA : I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
AYUBA: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him
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AYUBA: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
AYUBA : Can I take it tomorrow, tonight is final game.
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AYUBA : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
AYUBA : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
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AYUBA : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
AYUBA : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,Oh GOD! U have come again..
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AYUBA complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
AYUBA : 'I was watching TV news...'
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AYUBA comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'.
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for compliment.'
How do you recognize AYUBA in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
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Once AYUBA was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other. So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
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AYUBA in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
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AYUBA : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
AYUBA - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
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Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
AYUBA : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
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AYUBA told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
AYUBA : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I Resign!
made a note to remind myself to search for it on the internet. The title of the poem is "I Resign!", but the author is unknown. Hope it will brighten your day - remember the Simple Things in Life. I can't think of any better pictures to accompany this poem than Calvin and Hobbes, my favorite cartoon characters.
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.So . . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements.
I am officially resigning from adulthood.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Clarifying Expectations
:) But her husband presented her with something very different... The wife was thinking of km and the husband, lbs! In marriage, a man and a woman have implicit expectations of each other in their marriage roles. Although these expectations have not been discussed, or sometimes even recognized by the person who has them, Stephen Covey said, "fulfilling them makes great emotional deposits in the relationship and violating them makes withdrawals." (c.f. to "Emotional Bank Account" posting on 2 Sep 08).
That's why it's so important whenever you come into a new situation to get all the expectations out on the table. People will begin to judge each other through those expectations. And if they feel like their basic expectations have been violated, the reserve of trust is diminished. Covey further stressed that, "we create many negative situations by simply assuming that our expectations are self-evident and that they are clearly understood and shared by other people."
photo: Perth (Sep 1992)
Hence, it is better to make the expectations clear and explicit in the beginning. Although it takes a real investment of time and effort up front, it saves great amounts of time and effort down the road... Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don't exist and to hope things will work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations. But "when expectations are not clear and shared, people begin to become emotionally involved and simple misunderstandings become compounded, turning into personality clashes and communication breakdowns."
Similarly, imagine the difficulty you might encounter if you and your boss have different assumptions... Unclear expectations in the area of goals undermine communication and trust. How many times have we had these kind of conversations?
"You said .... "
"No, you're wrong. I said ... "
"You did not! You never said I was supposed to ... "
"Oh yes, I did! I clearly said ..."
"You never even mentioned ... "
"But that was our agreement..."
source: Stephen Covey, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (p.194-95).
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Structured Finance
Relationship managers (financial advisors) at the local banks have been accused of being overly aggressive in pushing these products. And some customers said they (the financial advisors) have down-played the risks and misled them into thinking the structured products were actually issued - not merely marketed - by banking names they trusted.
This reminded me of an incident I encountered somewhile back: I went to a bank to close a dormant savings account, which had several thousand dollars in it. The bank teller serving me persisted in trying to draw my attention to one of the financial products the bank was promoting (my guess is she gets a commission if I buy the financial product or agree to be referred to a relationship manager). The teller, however, was unprepared and porbably stunned by my response. Acting and sounding very pathetic, I said :)
"Excuse me, do you know why I am closing this account? I am broke, and I have mouths to feed. If I have money to invest, do you think I will need to close this account? I am desperate, do you have money to spare?"
Source: Genevieve Chua "Derivatives made readable" Business Times (27 Sep 2008) & Michelle Tay "Sale of Structured Products - Call for More Transparency", Straits Times (4 Oct 2008).
Friday, August 22, 2008
Do You Love Me?
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One of the simple enjoyments in life is reading comic strip. Below is one which was published recently in a local newspaper.
"... I keep running about asking: 'Do you love me? Do you really love me? I ... put myself in bondage because the world is filled with 'ifs'. The world says" Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much and buy much." There are endless "ifs" hidden in the world's love. These "ifs" enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world's love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain "hooked" to the world - trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that forsters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart." Henri shared that many of his daily preoccupations suggest that he belong more to the world than to God, "A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often, I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowing shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me."
Source: Henri J.M. Nouwen (1992), "The Return of the Prodigal Son - A Story of Homecoming".
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Open Mind
Photo: Sunset, Penang (Mar 06)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
God's Omnipotence
As Christians, my wife and I find it comforting that our God is all present, all knowing, and able to do everything within His will.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Children's View of God
Children were lined up in the cafereria for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. Someone had written a note and placed it next to the apples. It read,
"Take only one, God is watching."
Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One little boy wrote his own note and snuck it next to the cookies,
"Take all you want, God is watching the apples."
- Tom
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
A Hairy Tale
.Two months after we arrived in Happy Valley, I had the most awful haircut in my entire life! One evening, whilst we were shopping in Walmart, I saw a hair salon and told my wife that I would pop into the salon to have my hair cut, whilst she continued with her shopping. Upon entering the salon, I was ushered quickly to an empty chair. I was the only customer in the shop. When asked, “how do you want your hair to be cut?”, I replied, “short”. That turns out to be a huge mistake! Before I knew it, my chair was swiveled to the side, and the lady started clipping my hair. That was the second mistake, facing away from the mirror whilst your hair was being cut by a stranger. I really had no idea what she was doing to my hair – all I saw was large quantities of shorn hair cascading down my shoulders, onto the cape and down to the floor. The third mistake was to allow the so called hairdresser to use a “clipper”, which is like a mini “lawn mover” to cut my hair.
Before the seat was warmed up, I was told that it's done! The whole session seems like a fast five minutes to me. Even before I put on my glasses, I had a bad feeling. Bill Bryson, the author of Notes from a Big Country, list some questions you'll dread hearing from your hairdresser, just before she hand you your glasses after a haircut:
- “How fast does your hair grow?”
- “Will you be going out much over the next few weeks, sir?”
- “Do you have a big hat?” .
True enough, when I looked in the mirror, I was confronted with G.I. Joe, whom I hardly could recognize. I was shocked and could only utter to the hairdresser, “it looks awfully short.” Dumbstruck, I paid her and stumbled out dazed! I went to the washroom to wash my face. Staring at the mirror, I said to myself stoically that my hair would grow back and that on the bright-side, I would not need a haircut for a long long time. Having regained my composure, I then went sheepishly to look for my wife. Upon seeing me, she let out a horrified shriek and cried repeatedly, “What have they done...? What have they done to your hair?” We went back to the shop to protest but the lady who cut my hair had already left. Apparently, my haircut was a rush job as the shop was about to close when I stepped in! My wife complained to the manager the next day. She learnt that the girl who cut my hair was a newbie – someone who had just started a few months earlier (I presume the only training she had was on the job). The manager apologized. Although she refunded us the money, the damage to my hair was already done. Over the next few months, I had to wear a cap.
After the trauma, I hesitated visiting the salon here. Anyway, last week I went to another salon to have my hair cut as it was uncomfortably long. This time, I checked around first with some friends where they got their hair cut and if they were satisfied. This time, I replied “give me a trim” and stressed ‘no clippers, please use scissors”. This time, I make sure that I am facing the mirror all the time (not that I can see clearly without my glasses). My hair cut at the “For Men Only” salon turned out to be a pleasant experience. I gave Suzanne, the hairdresser, a tip for a satisfactory job. Whilst it may not be the best I have had, but at least it was a decent haircut.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Calvin & Hobbes
Anyway, the theme for the slideshow below is obvious. I used pictures downloaded from the internet, centering on my favorite cartoon character, Calvin and Hobbes.

