Fly with Criticism

Our ability to take criticism can make or break us.

I am sure learning how to handle criticism is one tough lesson most of us have to handle in life. Just yesterday, a trustworthy friend told me that someone has been criticizing me behind my back. Two truths about criticisms.

photos: Melbourne (2005)

(1) No one is immune to criticism; in particular, if you're willing to stand apart from the crowd, you're putting yourself in a vulnerable position. Count on some degree of criticism.

(2) No one is indifferent to criticism; it causes us to respond either positively or negatively. A negative attitude toward criticism can be more destructive than the criticism itself.

So, the question is not "Will I be confronted with criticism?" but "How do I handle and learn from criticism and confrontation?" In his book, Be a People Person, John Maxwell came up with one-word descriptions of the various ways people will respond to criticisms/confrontations:

BYE: The "bye" people never profit from confrontation; they don't hang around long enough. Their egos are too fragile.

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SPY: Spies become suspicious of everone. The begin an investigation to find out who in the organization is out to get them. Often they will avoid risking a failure again.

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FRY: Some people will simply get mad & either fly off at the handle or do a slow burn.

LIE: The liar has an excuse for every mistake. Therefore he never faces up to the reality of his situation.

CRY: Cry babies are overly sensitive and become hurt by confrontation. Unlike the "bye" people, criers hang around in hopes that people will see how mistreated they are and sympathize with them. They have a martyr complex.

SIGH: These people have a "That's-too-bad,-but-there's-nothing-I-can-do-about-it" attitude. They don't accept any responsibility for making right the wrong.

FLY: This category of people takes criticism and flies with it. They learn from it and become better because of it.

Which category has fit you in the past? Are there changes you need to make before you can take criticism and fly with it? I challenge you to start today.

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When you are willing to stick your neck out, someone will want to chop it off. Don't let that threat keep you from being all you can be. Rise above it. If we develop the ability to laugh at ourself, we will be much more relaxed when given or giving criticism.
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Source: John C. Maxwell, Be a People Person

Character Ethics

"I began to feel more & more that much of the success literature in the past 50 years was superficial. It was filled with social image consciousness, techniques & quick fixes..."

photo: Trumph Tower, Chicago

In the introductory chapter to 7 Habits of Effective People, S. Covey wrote about the difference between the Personality Ethics and Character Ethics. Reading and researching literally hundred of books, articles, and essays in fields such as self-improvement, popular psychology, and self-help, he noticed a startling pattern emerging in the content of the literature on keys to successful living.

photo: construction site visit in chicago (Apr 09)

In the first 150 years or so, almost all the literature focused on what could be called Character Ethic as the foundation of success - things like integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule.... The Character Ethic taught that there are basic principles of effective living, and that people can only experience true success and enduring happiness as they learn and integrate these principles into their basic character.

But shortly after WWI, the basic view of success shifted to what we might call the Personality Ethic. Success became more a function of personality, of public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and techniques, that lubricate the processes of human interaction... I am not suggesting that elements of the Personality Ethic - personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking - are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. I believe they are. But these are secondary, not primary traits.

If I try to use human influence strategies and tactics of how to get other people to do what I want, to work better, to be more motivated, to like me and each other - while my character is fundamentally flawed, marked by duplicity and insincerity - then, in the long run, I cannot be successful. My duplicity will breed distrust, and everything I do - even using so-called good human relations techniques - will be perceived as manipulative.... if there is little or no trust, there is no foundation for permanent success.

• You can use the Personality Ethic to get by and to make favorable impressions through charm and skill and pretending to be interested in other people's hobbies. You can pick up quick, easy techniques that may work in short-term situations. But secondary traits alone have no permanent worth in long-term relationships.
  

It is the character that communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, "what you are shouts so loudly in my ears I cannot hear what you say.".... We all know it. There are people we trust absolute because we know their character. Whether they're eloquent or not, whether they have human relations techinique or not, we trust them, and we work successfully with them.

Source: Stephen Covey (2009)

Jesus: The ScapeGoat (Leviticus 16)

The word "scapegoat" is widely used as a metaphor, referring to someone who is blamed for misfortunes, generally as a way of distracting attention from the real causes.

On this Easter morning, I took sometime to ponder over the following verse which my wife and I had adopted since our courtship days: "For the LORD is a sun and a shield; The LORD bestows favor and honor; No good things does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you." (Psalms 84:11). Usually, I will reflect on God's goodness ... O, I have tasted and see the Lord's goodness. Sharing what Billy Hybel's wrote, I do have a great life... I love what I do and the people I do it with... I am blessed with a terrific wife and friends. I'm healthy ... optimistic about the future. All in all, I am happy. But today, my attention was drawn to these words, "those whose walk is blameless."

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Honestly, who can really claim that his walks is truly blameless? I don't think I can. Romans 3: 23 says that there is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short from the glory of God. Some sins seem bigger than others because their obvious consequences are much more serious. Murder, for example, seems to us to be worse than hatred, and adultery seems worse than lust. But this does not mean that because we do lesser sins, our walk is blameless. Regardless of how great or small it seems, all sin makes us a sinner - they separate us from God, cut us off from our holy God, which leads to death.

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In the Old Testament, the 'scapegoat" was a goat that was symbolically burdened with the sins of the people and then driven off into the wilderness to rid Jerusalem of its iniquities. The rite for the Day of Atonement is described in Leviticus 16. Since this goat, with the sins of the people placed on it, is then sent over a cliff or driven into the wilderness to perish, the word "scapegoat" has come to mean a person, often innocent, who is blamed and punished for the sins, crimes or sufferings of others.

So, when used as a metaphor, a scapegoat is someone selected to bear blame for a calamity. Scapegoating is the act of holding a person, group of people, or thing responsible for a multitude of problems. Similar rituals were held elsewhere in the ancient world to transfer guilt or blame. In ancient Greece, human scapegoats were beaten and driven out of cities to mitigate calamities. In early Roman law, an innocent person was allowed to assume the penalty of another; Christianity reflects this notion in its belief that Jesus died to atone for the sins of mankind.

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I believe that God can make us blameless! Romans 5:6-8 reads, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly... But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." These are amazing words, God sent Jesus Christ to die for us, not because we were good enough, but because he loved us. In other words, we can walk a blameless walk because of what Jesus Christ did on the cross. As Christians, we believe that He died on the cross for our sins.

The Old Rugged Cross: On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross ... Jesus died for all of us, so that anyone who believes in Him may be saved.

Rededication: Jesus, my Scapegoat.... The gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 6:23)

Monterey, USA

Monterey is a city of natural beauty with a rich cultural heritage. Founded in 1770, it is the oldest city in the state of California, and was the state capital for a time. Situated 115 miles south of San Francisco and 320 miles north of Los Angeles, Monterey Country is the virtual heart of California's Central Coast. To the east, the county includes the Salinas Valley, a lush growing region, which is today the "Salad Bowl of the World". The region alone produce 80% of the nation's lettuce supply, generating more than US$600 million annually.

Below are some photos I took during my recent trip to Monterey.

On the first day, after checking into the Marriot Monterey, I took a 3-hour stroll along the coastal road towards the Cannery Row. At the turn of the 20th century, this part of the downtown Monterey area was where fish processing companies canned fish fresh off the boats. Monterey was then the Sardine capital of the world! Today, the stretch is home to galleries, shops, and fine restaurants.

On the evening of the second day, I took a short stroll to Fisherman's Wharf. In the 1800s, this part of town was the epicenter of Monterey's whaling industry. Now, visitors climb aboard modern vessels and journey out to the Monterey Bay National Marine Sanctuary to admire and appreciate the whales. From the wharf, one could also see harbor seals, sea lions, sea otters and seabirds.

On the afternoon of the third day, we toured the Pebble Beach, which is best known for its luxury resorts, golf courses and stunning 17-Mile Drive tour that passes through the Del Monte forest. There are approximately 20 stops along the well marked route, each with a landmark of interest and paved parking for the vehicle. The stops include popular tourist icons such as the Lone Cypress tree (left photo), the Restless Sea, Seal Rock, Spanish Bay, etc. We stopped for high-tea at the Pebble Beach Golf Links, which is best known for its luxury resorts and golf club. On our way back, we stopped at Carmel-by-the Sea, an exclusive shopping enclave bursting with charming boutiques, fine art galleries and luxury retailers. Clint Eastwood was once the town's mayor (1986-1988).

photo: charming historic garden at Cooper-Molera adobe

On the final day, I followed the Old Monterey's Path of History. Following the yellow-and-brown tile markers set in the sidewalks, the walking tour bring me to the oldest houses in the county which include California's First Theatre, Old Whaling Station adobe, Cooper-Molera adobe, Case Soberanes, Cotton Hall, etc. I particularly enjoyed the tantalizing fragrances of the many historic gardens.

Follow the Cloud (Numbers 9:17)

May I share with you my recent bible study and reflection on Numbers, Chapter 9. You have heard of the phrase “follow the crowd”. How about “follow the cloud”? Well, this is precisely what the Israelites did. They followed the cloud…

“whenever the cloud lifted from above the Tent, the Israelites set out; whenever the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped” (Num 9:17).

Observation 1: This is No Ordinary Cloud
Following their exodus from Egypt and during their years of wandering in wilderness, the Israelites know that the cloud hovering over the tabernacle was the visible symbol of the LORD’s presence. Paul W. Kuske, a bible scholar, wrote, “continuously, at any time of day or night, an Israelite was able to look toward the tabernacle and remind himself that even in the most hostile environment of the desert, the Lord was the leader and protector of the people he had chosen as his own”.

Application 1: The Lord’s presence represents the anointing & blessings of God in our lives… The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace” (Num 6:24-26)… But we have to stay clean & purified. Let the story of Samson be a warning for us not to be complacent – “he did not know that the LORD had left him (Judges 16:20b).” Of course in today’s context, we know that God will never abandon us completely, but we can still be “left alone”… so, let’s not take his presence and anointing for granted.
Observation 2: The Israelites travelled and camped as God guided.God directed the movement of his people by means of the cloud.
¨ When the cloud remained over the tabernacle for a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD’s order and did not set out (v.19).
¨ Sometimes, the cloud was over the tabernacle for a few days; at the LORD’s command they would encamp, and then at his command they would set out (v.20).
¨ Sometimes, the cloud stayed only from evening to morning, and when it lifted in the morning, they set out (v.21).
Application 2: When the cloud remained stationary for a long time, we can either (a) become so comfortable and accustomed with the surrounding; or (b) become so restless and impatient to move on. Both are not good – those in the first group will find it difficult to move (relocate) when the cloud starts to set out (e.g. when the will of God tells us to do something out of our comfort zone), whilst those in the second group miss what God want to do through them in their current situation. Instead of praying, “God, what do you want me to do next?’ it may be better to pray “God, what do you want me to do while I’m right here?” God has a purpose in placing where you are right now.

Application 3: When the cloud remained for a few days, we can be misled to think that we have made a mistake, a wrong choice… God never intended us to come here… Perhaps, this may sound familiar to some? In obedience, you followed God’s direction to move in a certain direction, but after a short while, you are asked to go another direction, or circumstances force you to make a u-turn. From human perspective, people would have thought that you are either fickle-minded or you have made a mistake in the first instance. This may not be so… God may direct us one step at a time.
Application 4: When the cloud remained only for the night, we can complain that we are stretched, too tired to move on. Why can’t we have more time to rest, more time to relax with our family, more time to enjoy the scenery, more time to stop and smell the flower? In such times, even though our feet is sore from the day’s walking, our back aching from carrying our possessions, and we are tired of being constantly on the move, remember: (a) to thank God - He gave us the night to rest, and (b) to trust God – He knows where He is leading us & His plan is to prosper us, not harm us.

In conclusion, we are to watch the cloud at all time. When He set out, we move. When He remained, we stay.

On the Road: Monterey & Chicago

It is the time of the year again for real estate academics to make their annual pilgrimage to the US to attend the American Real Estate Society's annual meeting.

internet photo: monterey

This year the meeting will be held in Monterey, which is a spectacular coastal community in northern California. Endowed with natural beauty, cultural resources and rich historic past (spanish), Monterey is located 115 miles south of San Francisco and 350 miles north of Los Angeles. The ARES meeting will run from April 2 to 4. I will be chairing one session as well as presenting a research paper. One of my research students will present another paper.

photo: Chicago (Oct 08)

Instead of coming home immediately after the meeting, I will be going to Chicago to present another research paper at the Real Estate Research Institute (RERI) research conference, which will be held on April 7&8.

My flight to the US depart in the early morning of April 1. I will reach home just in time to celebrate Good Friday and Easter Sunday. During my travel, I am unlikely to update this blog. In the meantime, may I take this opportunity to bless you with a benediction as we remember the passion of Christ:

"The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; The LORD turns his face towards you and give you peace." - Numbers 6:24-26

The Great Apple Rush

One more posting on apples! Do you know what is so incredible about Johnny Appleseed and the apple story in America? Actually, John Chapman’s apples were neither the first nor by any stretch the best, for his were seedlings trees exclusively… The fact, simply, is this:

• Apples don’t “come true” from seeds – that is, an apple tree grown from a seed will be a wildling bearing little resemblance to its parent. Anyone who wants edible apples plants grafted trees, for the fruit of seedling apples is almost always inedible – “sour enough to get a squirrel’s teeth on edge and make a jay scream”, wrote Thoreau.

Every seed in an apple contains the genetic instructions for a completely new and different apple tree, one that, if planted, would bear only the most glancing resemblance to its parents. If not for grafting – the ancient technique of cloning trees – every apple in the world would be its own distinct variety, and it would be impossible to keep a good one going beyond the life span of that particular tree.

Joining a bud or shoot from one plant onto the roots or trunk of another plant so that the two parts will unite and grow together.

Chapman, somewhat perversely, would have nothing to do with grafted apples, “They can improve the apple in that way, but that is only a device of man, and it is wicked to cut up trees that way. The correct method is to select good seeds and plant them in good ground and God only can improve the apple.”

So, why did it succeed? In particular, how could the man have made a living selling spitters to Ohio settlers when there were already grafted trees bearing edible fruit for sale in Marietta. According to Pollan, Americans’ “inclination toward cider” is the only way to explain Chapman’s success.

It was the seeds, and the cider, that gave the apple the opportunity to discover by trial and error the precise combination of traits required to prosper the New World. From Chapman’s vast planting of nameless cider apple seeds came some of the great American cultivars of the nineteenth century.

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Whenever a tree growing in the midst of a planting of nameless cider apples somehow distinguished itself – for the hardiness of its constitution, the redness of its skin, the excellence of its flavor – it would promptly be named, grafted, publicized and multiplied. Through this simultaneous process of natural and cultural selection, the apples took up into themselves the very substance of America.

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In the years after John Chapman, America witnessed what has sometime called the Great Apple Rush. People soured the countryside for the next champion fruit…

And every farmer tended his cider orchard with an eye to the main chance: the apple that would hit it big. The discovery of a Golden Delicious (left) or Red Delicious (right) could bring an American fortune and even a measure of fame.

source: botany of desire

Johnny Appleseed - The Apple Evangelist

“John Chapman is a hero for our time - his philanthropy, his selflessness, his Christian faith. Chapman was also America’s first environmentalist.”

– Bill Jones

John Chapman (1774-1845), aka Johnny Appleseed, was an American pioneer nurseryman who introduced apple trees to large parts of Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois. He became an American legend, largely because of his kind and generous ways, ... , and the symbolic importance of apples (source: wikipedia).

Most of what’s known about Chapman comes from accounts left by the many settlers who welcomed him into their cabins, offering the famous appleman/evangelist a meal and a place to sleep. In exchange, his hosts were happy to have Chapman’s news (of Indians and Heaven, of his own fantastic exploits) and apple trees (he’d usually plant a couple as a token of his thanks).

There was, too, the sheer entertainment value of a guest who was, literally, a legend in his own time.

• To a pioneer laboring under the brute facts of frontier life, confronting daily the indifferent face of nature, Johnny Appleseed’s words and seeds offered release from the long sentence of ordinariness, held out a hope of transcendence.

Johnny Appleseed preferred to spend his nights out of doors… a vegetarian living on the frontier, he deemed it a cruelty to ride a horse or chop down a tree; to punish his own foot for squashing a worm, he wore no shoes, even in the snowy winter. He liked best the company of Indians and children. The Indians regarded Chapman as a brilliant woodsman and medicine man.

Johnny lived everywhere and nowhere. He was constantly on the move, travelling in Autumn to Allegheny County (in western Pennsylvania) to gather seeds, scouting nursery sites and planting in the spring, repairing fences at old nurseries in summer, and wherever he planted, signing up local agents to keep an eye on and sell his trees, since he was seldom in one place long enough to do that work himself…

• Like a shrewd real estate developer (which is one way to describe him), Chapman had a sixth sense for exactly where the next wave of development was about to break. There he would go and plant his seeds on a tract of waterfront land (sometimes paid for, sometimes not), confident in the expectation that a few years hence a market for his trees would appear at his doorstep. By the time the settler came, he’d have two- or three-year-old trees ready for sale... In time he would find a local boy to look after his trees, move on, and start the process all over again.

Johnny was apparently the only appleman on the American frontier pursuing such a strategy. It would have large consequences for both the frontier and the apple. He was an agent of domestication. With every cider orchard he helped plant, the wilderness became that much more hospitable and homelike. It was said that his millions of seeds and thousands of miles changed the apple, and the apple changed America.

By the 1830s John Chapman was operating a chain of nurseries that reached all the way from western Pennsylvania through central Ohio and into Indiana. He died in 1845, leaving an estate some 1,200 acres of prime real estate.

Chapman saw himself as a bumblebee on the frontier, bringer of both the seeds and the word of God – of both sweetness, that is, and light.

Chapman’s ability to freely cross borders that other people believed to be fixed and unbreachable – between the red world and the white, between wilderness and civilization, even between this world and the next – was one of the hallmarks of his character and probably the thing that confounded people about the man, both then and now.

source: The Botany of Desire

Below is a Walt Disney movie clip on Johnny Appleseed.

part 2

An Apple A Day ....

“The apple served as the American grape,

cider the American wine”.

Michael Pollan, Botany of Desire

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”. Do you know that this is actually a marketing slogan dreamed up by apple growers who were concerned that "temperance" by puritan Christians would cut into their sales. .

During our sabbatical in the US, we enjoyed drinking apple cider - 100% pressed cloudy apple juice! You could either drink it cold or hot. I learnt to like the drink so much so that it was the only food item that I brought back (two boxes, each containing 10 sachets of powdered apple cider) to Singapore.

In the olden days, apples were something people drank. Cider was the fate of most apples grown in America. Allowed to ferment for a few weeks, pressed apple juice yields a mildly alcoholic beverage with about half the strength of wine. For something stronger, the cider can be distilled into brandy or simply frozen; the intensely alcoholic liquid that refuses to ice is called applejack. Hard cider frozen to -30* yields an applejack of 66%. visit this blog has a good write-up & pictures on the tedious process involved in making apple cider: http://www.sentex.net/~mwandel/press/making_cider.html

In the 1800s, virtually every homestead in America had an orchard from which literally thousand gallons of cider were made every year. In rural areas cider took the place not only of wine and beer but of coffee and tea, juice, and even water.

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Indeed, in many places, cider were consumed more freely than water, even by children, since it was arguably the healthier – because more sanitary – beverage. Cider became indispensable to rural life that even those who rallied against alcohol made an exception for cider, and the early prohibitionists succeeded mainly in switching drinkers over from grain to apple spirits. Eventually, they would attack cider directly and launch their campaign to chop down apple trees.

The apple growers then came together to save the industry. Thanks in part to the PR slogan: “An apple a day keeps the doctor away”, Americans began to eat rather than drink their apples. Around the same time, refrigeration made possible a national market for apples, and the industry got together and decided it would be wise to simplify that market by planting and promoting only a small handful of brand name varieties.

Two qualities counted: Beauty and sweetness. Beauty in an apple meant a uniform redness; and sweetness in an apple meant sugariness, plain and simple. And so, the Red and Golden Delicious, began to dominate the market... Apple breeders lean heavily to the genes of these two apples, which can be found in most of the popular apples developed in the recent years, including the Fuji and the Gala.

Hence, it wasn’t until this century that the apple acquired its reputation for wholesomeness!

The identification of the apple with the notions of health and wholesomeness turns out to be a modern invention, part of a public relations campaign dreamed up by the apple industry in the early 1900s to reposition a fruit that the Women’s Christian Temperance Union had declared war on.

photos: taken in State College (2008)

source: Botany of Desire (2001)

Knowing is Not Enough (James 1:22)

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.

Willing is not enough; we must do.

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Every Saturday during our contact group meeting, we devote a huge chunk of the time to study the bible. Over the past few weeks, I have been given the honor to lead the bible study.

Many think that understanding is the end goal of Bible study. In truth, understanding is only the beginining. Bible study, like education, is more than accumulating knowledge.

Be practical: We are encouraged to apply what we understand. In the context of studying God's words, James wrote "Do not merely listen to the word, and deceive yourselves. Do what it says." (James 1:22)

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Why are we encouraged to be doers of God's words? I can think of two reasons:

(1) because knowledge can puff us up (1 Corn 8:1). Our ego, like a balloon, gets inflated because we think we know!

(2) because obedience is a vital part of one's relationship with God. Spiritual growth only comes by feeding and acting on God's Word.

Effective bible study focuses on the truth of God's word, shows us what to do about what is being read or heard, and motivates us to respond to what God is teaching. All three are essential!

Mark Twain once wrote, "It is not the parts of the Bible that I don't understand that worry me, it's the parts that I understand all too well."

"We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we heard, so that we do not drift away." - Hebrews 2:1

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reflection: God is not meant only to be understood in our minds but also experienced in our heart and lives.

Personal Creed

I have been busy with my research over the past few weeks; hence, the slack in updating this blog. So, here is a quick one on my Personal Creed.

photo: summer in State College (2008)

(1) Be true to yourself. This will insure peace of mind, and you will never betray anyone.

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(2) Make each day your masterpiece. You cannot change yesterday, and a better tomorrow can only come by improvement today.

(3) Help others. This will bring far, far more than you could ever give.

(4) Drink deeply from good books. There is none that compared to the Bible, but also read Shakespeare, Tennyson, the philosophers, biographies of great men, and others.

(5) Make a friendship a fine art. Be a friend; do not take friendship for granted. Build a shelter against a rainy day.

(6) Pray for guidance. Count your blessings and give thanks for them every day.

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source: Tecman

WE

In life, you are either going to see people as your adversaries or as your assets: If they are your adversaries, you will be continually sparring with them, trying to defend your position. If you see people as assets, you will help them see their potential, and you will become allies in making the most of each other.

The happiest day of your life will be the day you realize "we" really is the most important word in the English language.

photo: Frasers Hill, M'sia (1994)

When it comes to human relations, remember:

The least important word: I (gets the least done)
The most important word: We (gets the most done) - relationships.
The two most important words: Thank You - appreciation.
The three most important words: All is forgiven - forgiveness.
The four most important words: What is your opinion? - listening.
The five most important words: You did a good job - encouragement.
The six most important words: I want to know you better - understanding.

Our success, fulfillment, and happiness depends upon our ability to relate to people effectively.

source: J.C. Maxwell "Be a People Person", p. 23

Women & Cars

Sometime back, our pastor shared the following joke over the pulpit. Imagine this scene:

A husband came home from work. He saw his wife cooking in the kitchen. He went into the kitchen, stood beside her, and started making a lot remarks such as:

"careful, careful", "quick, quick, the pan is getting hot"; "turn now, turn now, it'll get burnt"; "lower the fire, it is too big"; "watch out"; "not too much oil"; "more salt"; "more pepper"; "you are not doing it correct"...

By now, the wife gets really annoyed with the husband, and told the husband off: "Why did you do that. It's really annoying. I was just frying an egg!" Husband, replied: "I know. I just wanted you to know how I feel each time when I am driving with you sitting next to me".

Today, a church friend send us a video clip with the title, "female_driver_compilation". It is really funny. In case you have the wrong idea, the sender is a woman. And she has this to add, "Now you know why I don’t drive right, even I have a driving licence .. so stressful you know…:)"

Finally, one piece of advice for those who are newly marrieds. Whilst there are many things you can teach each other, there is one thing a husband should never do: "Don't teach the wife how to drive."