Prepare to Die?

“Everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it.” – Morrie

photo: Arlington, US (May 08)

A few days ago, it was reported in the local newspaper a Chinese celebrity, who is very popular with the aunties in Singapore, has a leukemia relapse. Dongfang Billy, as the celebrity is known, was quoted that he is prepared to die. He has started to make preparations for his funeral. In particular, he said he would host his own funeral and has made a DVD for this.

The story reminds me of an international bestseller book. Recommended to me some years back by Hsueh Shan, one of my former students, it has since become one of my all time favorite books.

Written by Mitch Albom, it recounts his time spent with an old professor, as he was dying from ALS (also known as Lou Gehrigh’s Disease). The memoir, based entirely on recorded conversations between Albom and Morrie about life’s most important lessons. The conversations usually took place on a Tuesday, hence the title of the book, “Tuesdays with Morrie”. If you have not read this highly inspirational book, I strongly recommend it.

On the fourth tuesday, Morrie and Mitch talked about death!

Mitch: “Did you think much about death before you got sick?”

Morrie: “No, I was like everyone else. I once told a friend of mine, in a moment of exuberance, ‘I’m gonna be the healthiest old man you ever met!’... Actually, everyone knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. No one really believes they’re going to die. If we did, we would do things differently.”
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Mitch: “But everyone knows somebody who has died. Why is it so hard to think about dying?”

Morrie: “Because most of us all walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully, because we’re half-asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do.”

Mitch: “And facing death changes all that?”

Morrie: “ Oh yes. You strip away all that stuff and you focus on the essentials. When you realize you are going to die, you see everything much differently… Learn how to die, and you learn how to live…

Mitch: “So, we kid ourselves about death.”

Morrie: “Yes, but there’s a better approach. To know you’re going to die, and to be prepared for it at any time. That’s better. That way you can actually be more involved in your life while you’re living.”

Mitch: “How can you ever be prepared to die?"

Morrie: “Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?’ Well, the truth is once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.... the truth is if you really listen to that bird on your shoulder, if you accept that you can die at any time – then you might not be as ambitious as you are… The things you spend so much time on – all this work you do – might not seem as important. You might have to make room for some more spiritual things.”

Mitch: “Spiritual things?”

Morrie: “You hate the word, don’t you? ‘Spiritual.’ You think it’s touchy-feely stuff. Mitch, even I don’t know what ‘spiritual development’ really means. But I do know we’re deficient in some way. We are too involved in materialistic things, and they don’t satisfy us. The loving relationships we have, the universe around us, we take these things for granted.”

What kind of counsel is this? Why is this man, Morrie, saying such a thing? Is he in some kind of depression syndrome? No, not at all. Swindoll wrote,

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"One blast of its (death) awful breath transformed all values. Instantaneously, priceless things had become worthless. Worthless things had become priceless.... Death gives you that kind of wisdom. Those who live their lives suffering from a terminal disease usually demonstrate a ramarkable degree of wisdom inthe way they spend their time. It is amazing what happens even to one's conversation!"

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There is a scripture in Eccles. 7 that supports this; "it is better to to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting." In other words, visiting a funeral parlour is better than gorging oneself at a banquet, or a 30-minute stroll through a graveyard is better than an entire afternoon at a carnival..Why? Because we seldom forget a stroll through a graveyard and what we learn there about the great men and women who have shaped lives. Sure, it's frightening, but it's amazing how much perspective is gained when we get a glimpse of life from the back door.

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reflection: "when you realize you are going to die, you see everything very differently"

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source: C.R. Swindoll (1985) "Living on the ragged edge"; Mitch Albom (1997) "tuesdays with Morrie".